Tag: depression

A Bad Day Made Worse

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Have you ever had a tough day when everything seems to go wrong? It can feel overwhelming, like a dark cloud hanging over you. Little annoyances, like spilling coffee or missing the bus, combined with bigger issues like work stress, can lead to frustration and despair. It’s easy to forget the good moments, but it’s important to remember that even in chaos, there is hope for better days ahead. Here’s how I’ve been coping, or at least trying to cope with stress.

A Stressful Monday Morning

Monday morning started with a sharp, annoying pain in my back. You know, the kind that happens when you know you slept funny, so your body punishes you the next day. My back felt all twisted like a pretzel, and I found myself hobbling down the stairs like an old lady with a bad back. It’s crazy how much we take a good spine for granted until it decides to quit on us. Most of the day was spent with excruciating back pain. Luckily, I felt much better by Tuesday evening.

Part of my daily survival ritual involves spending some time in nature, by walking to the nearest park or Tim Hortons down the street. I don’t buy steeped tea every day, but I still try to make it a habit to go outside. Despite my back pain, I desperately need that steaming cup of caffeine to clear the chaotic mental chatter in my head.

(っ◔__◔)っ ♥ P.S. Let’s ignore the fact that I recently ranted about the ridiculous inflation and the annoyances I have with Tim’s. Let’s just ignore all of that because karma got me good. 🙄

I was already halfway there when my husband broke the news to me. He mentioned that my go-to spot was closed, but I didn’t want to believe it. I pulled up the info online, and my heart sank: “Closed until February 26, 2026.” 

Who even knows if they will actually reopen? There are rumors going around that their contract with 7-Eleven ended, and this uncertainty makes it feel so much worse. Honestly, this feels like a cruel joke from the universe, especially since I just wrote a blog post called Price Shock: Enough is Enough. It’s like the universe read my blog post and said,

“Oh, you think things are tough? Let’s take away the one thing that brought you joy. Sucks to be you.” 💔

Here in Calgary, I live in the type of climate that makes you regret living in Canada. Standing in that parking lot, shivering, annoyed, and caffeine-deprived, I felt like the universe was sending me a very loud message to go back to bed and stay there, wrapped in my warm blankets like a caterpillar in a cocoon, far removed from the harshness of the cold. The biting wind seemed to mock my every attempt to stay warm as I hugged my arms tightly to my chest, wishing for just a little warmth to seep back into my already chilled bones. At this point, I was half-expecting a penguin to waddle past me and offer some pity, sympathy, or nod of acceptance. 🐧

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

A Stressful Monday Afternoon

I could not catch a break on Monday. The “bad” became way “worse” the moment I opened my laptop. As many of you know, I poured my heart into my sticker designs. It was a creative outlet that kept me grounded, even when life felt heavy. My most popular rainbow unicorn “caticorn” cat design was staring back at me on a marketplace that felt oh so familiar, but from a seller I had never seen before.

It was a 3rd party seller based in China. They hadn’t just “borrowed” the idea; they had ripped the high-res file, turned it into a sticker, and sold it for a fraction of the price. Their product photos were remotely similar, with water droplets as their “watermark” (Oh, the audacity!) but still, it was MY digital art design! And I am livid! (｡•̀ ⤙ •́ ｡ꐦ) !!!

ɪ ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛᴇᴍᴜ. ɴᴏᴛ ᴀʟʟ ꜱᴇʟʟᴇʀꜱ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛᴇᴅ. ɪ’ᴍ ᴜᴘꜱᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜱɪɢɴꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴘɪᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ᴍʏ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴅᴇꜱɪɢɴ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ’ᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴀɴʏ ꜱᴀʟᴇꜱ ɪɴ ᴀ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴛɪᴍᴇ.

The most frustrating part? Despite Redbubble offering protection by allowing us to add a watermark, it wasn’t enough to stop the Temu thief from copying the design anyway. The irony is that I often shop on sites like Temu, and you can read my recent blog post here. This feels like the universe’s big “FU” to me for even trying to compete with this conglomerate monster.

Link to MY Shop: 🌸@sereneluna 🌸

Collection of cute stickers featuring cats and animals in various themes, including a smiling octopus, unicorn cat, and seasonal designs like Halloween and Canada Day.
Image Source: My Redbubble shop features a colorful collection of cute cat and animal stickers. There’s 116 designs to choose from! ⭐💫

Do You Believe in Karma?

I believe in karma—the mirror reflection of what you project into the universe often has a way of creeping into your life and throwing that energy right back at you when you least expect it, including the stuff that you don’t want. Not only that, but you can’t steal someone else’s ethereal energy and creativity, no matter how hard you try to copy someone else, because they’ll always be a few steps ahead of you in the game.

The universe has a way of balancing this energy, including the energy we don’t actually want, thus reminding us that authenticity and hard work are the true pathways to lasting success. So, even though the situation feels devastating right now, I hold onto the belief that integrity will prevail in the long run, revealing the true character of these thieves and shady people who try to take shortcuts at the expense of others.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Searching for Mental Clarity & Meaning

When the mental fog gets this thick and the physical pain becomes so loud that you can’t ignore it, I find myself craving a total “hard reset” for my brain. These days, I often feel the need to disengage from the external world and instead, turn inward on myself. I did a “hard reset” just last week, but it doesn’t seem to have been enough to carry me through this latest avalanche of deregulation, so I think I need to go back to that magical place again. I’m feeling tempted to revisit that deep, earthy, ethereal experience—the kind that lets the brain’s default mode network take a backseat so I can view life from a new, fresh perspective through a world of dreamlike wonder.

Image: A vibrant, fantasy landscape, evoking a sense of wonder and escape into nature. 🍄🌿✌️💕
Image: A serene landscape with Nikki on a swing overlooking a tranquil lake during sunset, capturing a moment of peaceful solitude amidst the chaos of life.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS

Often, it’s easier to be hard on ourselves, so we end up attracting even more unwanted things into our lives, whether we’re conscious of it or not. But if I’ve learned anything from blogging, it’s that we have to find a way to take back our own narrative. We have to be the ones to decide when the bad day, week, month, etc., stops being bad. I’m ready for the light to shine again. I’m ready to start showing up as the best version of myself, whatever that newer, weirder version of me happens to be. 🌿

♡ What about you? Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to go right? How do you handle it? Feel free to join the conversation below ↓ and I’ll do my best to reply to your comments within the next 24 hours.

♡ Enjoyed this post? Please consider donating to help me improve this site. I’ll send you a personal thank-you message to the email you used to send the coffee donation❣️

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

Another Day That Got Away

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Image Source: Uncropped AI image with whimsical, dreamlike energy 💫

Date: January 18, 2026

This morning I woke up with quiet hope. 🌿 The kind that tiptoes in, soft and earned, a fragile belief that today might nudge the needle forward, even just a whisper of movement.

Three small promises were on my To-Do list:

  • Respond to emails that have been lurking for weeks
  • Tame the dish mountain before it becomes folklore
  • Cardio for 30 minutes so my body remembers I care

I brewed tea — warm, fragrant, a tiny ritual of kindness, settled at the table feeling briefly capable.

Then the laziness arrived, silent as fog.

I read the same email three times, words dissolving like sugar in rain. Opened a motivation tab, closed it fast — the advice felt like someone scolding me from a brighter life.

I ate cake standing at the counter like a savage. 🍰 One thick slice for comfort, then another because the plate looked too empty without it. This girl was eating her feelings. At least cake is sweet and honest.

Afternoon light crept across the floor like it was trying to sneak out. I watched it go, didn’t chase.

“Five more minutes,” I told myself. Then ten. Then evening had arrived.

Now the house breathes quietly — fridge humming its lonely lullaby, thoughts settling like dust. Same hoodie. Same me. Same day that slipped through my fingers like sand.

But here’s the truth that has a name.

This feels like depression, because it is. ☹️ It’s not like a loud, roaring tidal wave. 🌊 — It’s the slow, lingering kind that turns brushing teeth into an Olympic event, making cake the safest friend in the room, and convinces you that tomorrow is someone else’s problem.

Still… I noticed.
I saw the hesitation, the excuses, the gentle self-betrayal. That observing is a crack of light, small but real. ✨ Tomorrow I don’t have to conquer the world.

Just choose one tiny thing.

One gentle, doable act and meet it with kindness, not brute force.

  • One email reply
  • One dish
  • One calm breath that isn’t met with guilt

That’s the only goal. Not to survive, but to reflect. That’s enough for tonight. Tomorrow waits for me, patient and opportunistic. 🙌

I’ll meet it halfway — probably with more tea,
And definitely with less hatred toward myself.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS

If your day looked anything like mine today, I see you. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re carrying something heavy that doesn’t always show up in photos or status updates. You’re still here.

Still trying, even when trying looks like resting. That matters more than any unchecked box on a To-Do list.

So breathe. 🧘‍♀️🌱
Rest if your body is begging for it. Have the cake if it helps (seriously, no guilt tonight). Then tomorrow, pick one small thing.

Do it like someone who’s allowed to be imperfect and still worthy of self-compassion.
— because you are. 🤍

Image Source: Cropped AI image with whimsical, dreamlike energy 💫

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ P.S. If you enjoyed this blog post, consider supporting my writing with a small Ko-fi donation. Your support really keeps me motivated to create more content like this.  My writing can be a bit unpredictable and thought-provoking at times, so get ready for plenty more of that throughout 2026!

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Help support Hilary & her caffeine addiction. Her musings do not write themselves.

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Halfway to Morning

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Disclaimer: This poem was originally posted as a separate daughter page, so nobody stumbled upon it. I am editing and re-publishing all of my poems (I know I said I’d do this over a year ago, haha) to reflect the direction that this blog is headed in. Thank you for understanding. If you like this poem, feel free to check out my other poetry musings here. ✨

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About This Poem 💫

I’ve been struggling with chronic insomnia for years, and this isn’t my first poem that I’ve written about it. Whenever I can’t sleep, I toss and turn all night as I struggle to get some sleep. I’ve tried herbal teas and hot baths, but nothing helps, which makes me more frustrated and even more exhausted. My mind is filled with thoughts and worries that stop me from relaxing at night. If anyone has a remedy that works, please share it in the comments below ↓

Thanks for reading! ♡

great-vibes.regular (1)

She Was Never One of Us

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Oh, Canada! 🇨🇦 I have lived in Canada my entire life; I was born and raised here. Canadians are often recognized for their friendly and apologetic nature. On a personal level, I have come to realize that I possess these traits, often giving people numerous opportunities and extending my trust to them. As you may have noticed from the title, I am throwing some maple leaf shade here. I won’t give you much context for privacy reasons, but publishing this poem on January 4th was intentional. If you like this poem, feel free to check out my other poetry musings here. ✨

Thanks for reading! ♡

Thanks for reading! ♡

When Everything Goes Wrong

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Have you ever experienced those days when it feels like the world is against you, and everything, from the smallest details to the biggest challenges, seems to be going wrong? It can be incredibly demotivating when nothing seems to be going your way.

Drowning in a Sea of Sadness

Why is this happening to me? Who knows! 😖 And please don’t tell me that this is happening for me instead of to me; that is a bunch of BS created by self-help gurus to reframe the situation. No amount of self-help is helping me right now, which is worth mentioning because I listen to a lot of self-help guru advice. But I digress.

I could have also been been influenced by the news, something I read online, or a combination of various factors that are completely out of my control, all of which are highly likely. Either way, I’m struggling with depression and anxiety this week.

Image source: https://www.deviantart.com/

A Stressful Weekend

It all began last Friday when I went to work. The following days, Friday through Sunday, were incredibly busy, leaving me with no time to eat during the few breaks I had. By Sunday, my nerves were on edge and I desperately needed a steeped tea. However, my husband informed me that the line was too long, and I would have to go without it.

Over the weekend, my plastic Nalgene water bottle completely shattered into pieces. Can you believe it? I’m just as puzzled as you are. How does a plastic water bottle smash like that? RIP Nalgene water bottle ☠️

A Stressful Monday

Due to a stressful weekend, I ended up with a migraine on Monday. As a result, I wasn’t able to do piano practice with Rebecca, and I also forgot my swipe card by the time I arrived to the YMCA. Despite having my gym bag with me, I couldn’t sign in. Eventually, the kind lady at the front desk allowed me to enter, but it was a waste of valuable time and I felt rushed. Moreover, I didn’t get to enjoy a cup of steeped tea that day either.

When I feel stressed out, I like to create digital vector designs which I then turn into stickers and other merch for #Redbubble. On Monday night, I uploaded a seemingly innocent design, only to have it temporarily suspended, which kept me up all night. Karalee, who runs a blog called Tales of Belle, pointed out that there were similarities between my design and LOL Surprise Cats, specifically the one called Royal Kitty. This connection might be the reason why my design was flagged for review.

A Stressful Tuesday

On Tuesday morning, Redbubble unsuspended my Kawaii Royal Kitty, but the whole ordeal was still nerve-wracking, to say the least. Unfortunately, due to my chronic insomnia, I ended up sleeping in late again. However, yesterday I made it my mission to treat myself to a steeped tea and take Aaron out for a stroll. But to add to my frustration, the zipper on my jacket got jammed, and I ended up looking like a fool wearing this jacket with an uneven, stuck zipper. You know what I’m talking about, right?

Photo by Danik Prihodko. Link: https://www.pexels.com/photo/

This Week Continues to be Crap-tastic 🧻💩🦄

The rest of the week hasn’t gotten much better. On Wednesday evening, something unfortunate happened – I consumed an almost lethal amount of erythritol. Who puts erythritol in their beverages? It’s a bad idea, guys. I didn’t realize there was erythritol in it when I purchased it.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with yet another migraine. In an attempt to alleviate my discomfort, I decided to pour myself a glass of freshly squeezed juice. As I went to pour myself a glass, beet juice splattered all over my kitchen, resembling a crime scene. The kitchen island, baseboards, and floor were covered in beet-stained splats, creating a truly dreadful sight. Cleaning up the mess was even more dreadful. ಠ෴ಠ

Which brings us to Friday. Well, it’s Friday, so only time will tell what challenges I’ll be dealing with today. Unfortunately, my toddler is sick, so he will be staying home. On top of that, I have a 6-hour online seminar scheduled for today, and I haven’t quite figured out how I’ll be able to take care of him while fully participating in the seminar. However, I am confident that I will find a solution because there is always a way.

Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to go right? How do you handle it? Feel free to join the conversation below ↓ and I’ll do my best to reply to your comments within the next 24 hours.

(っ◔◡◔)っ FYI: If you’re not already following me on Twitter/𝕏 (@serene_hilz), you can get real-time updates about my day-to-day life there.

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

So What!

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Disclaimer: I did not write this on my own. This blog post is composed of excerpts from an old Seventeen magazine. Over the summer, I spent a few weeks at my parents’ house where I ended up dedicating a significant amount of time to reading and recycling my old magazines. Before recycling the magazines, I saved a few pages that I wanted to share with all of you.

The blog post is titled “So What!” is actually from Seventeen Journal. I felt moved by it because I realized that my own physical and mental clutter (ahem, pages I ripped out from old magazines) is actually hindering my decluttering efforts. How ironic! I am unable to provide a proper citation for this article as I do not have the information regarding which Seventeen magazine it came from, the article number, or the year.

Let’s get started, shall we?

So What!

You have big dreams, and you want to achieve them now. But what you might not realize is that sometimes what’s holding you back isn’t coming form the outside (your friends, your family, school)—but from you! When you let go of all the negative stuff—regrets, times you felt embarrassed, anything that’s killing your confidence—it’s like taking all the obstacles out of your way. So use this space to get it all out, and give yourself permission to say, “So what!” and move on!

  1. I’ve been beating myself up about….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!
  2. I feel ashamed that….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!
  3. I can’t stop cringing about….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!
  4. I’ve been holding in the fact that….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!
  5. I felt like I effed this up….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!

“I know it’s easier said than done, but acceptance starts with looking at yourself in the mirror and just saying, Okay, I don’t have muscles on top of muscles. Fine! All right. I don’t have long, flowing blonde hair. Cool. Once you learn to be cool with who you are, you won’t care what anyone else thinks.”

 — Ne-Yo
Source: https://www.europosters.eu/marketplace/

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥

This journaling exercise is applicable not only to teenagers but also to adults. Even as an adult, I still face similar challenges to those I experienced as a teenager, but I handle them differently now that I am older and wiser. I am curious to know if you journal. Personally, I don’t, but I can understand why it would be helpful for gaining insight. Feel free to join the conversation below ↓ and I will do my best to reply to the comments within the next 48 hours.

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

Things that Make Me Happy

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I recently published a blog post about the Things that make me unhappy and it seemed to have resonated with a lot of readers. If you haven’t read it yet, here is the quick link to that blog post so you can catch up:

♡ Related Blog Post: Things that Make Me Unhappy

Naturally, it made sense to make another list, but this time focus on the Things that make me happy. Such an original title, I know! 😅 Anyway, here is my list of 11 things that make me happy. Please keep in mind that this list is not presented in any particular order. Each list is unique to the individual, so my list will likely differ from your list. Let’s get started, shall we?

A List of Things that Make Me Happy

1. My cat, Timon. Timon is an absolute blessing in my life. We adopted him in Spring 2019, when I was really depressed and feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. Even now, when I’m anxious, the warm cuddles from my cat bring me immense comfort and joy 🐈‍⬛💕

2. My family. Apart from my immediate family which includes my children and husband, my parents who live across the country are also a key part of my family. Despite our past issues, we try to stay connected through phone calls and have found that it is much easier to get along when we aren’t living together.

3. Steeped tea & MCDs coffee. I’m a huge fan of Tim Hortons steeped tea and McDonalds coffee. Even though I can make the coffee from home, nothing beats the joy of buying it. Steeped tea is something that I simply can’t replicate and will go out of my way to get, even though these feelings of happiness are fleeting.

4. Bubble tea. I think I enjoy bubble tea more than the average person, even though the pleasure is only temporary. Unfortunately, I can’t afford it on a regular basis, so it has become something of a guilty pleasure! Although I can make it at home, I still prefer to buy it at a tea shop. It’s more fun that way!

5. Bubble baths. I absolutely love taking hot, bubble baths to warm up on cold days where I live. They give me a much-needed break from the chill and serve as an escape for some relaxation and self-care. Not only that, but it also helps to reduce stress levels and soothe my mind.

6. Walks in nature. On a beautiful day, I will take a pleasant stroll outside. 🌞 Walks outside are far more enjoyable than walking on the treadmill. I try to limit my indoor time to three days or less, as feeling trapped indoors for extended periods of time can be mentally exhausting. The longest period of time that I stayed indoors without going outside was a depressing 3 weeks – something that I never want to experience again!

7. Saving money. I tend to prioritize saving my money rather than spending it because the feeling of having a substantial amount of money in my bank account is much more satisfying than the fleeting pleasure of buying something. Moreover, I enjoy living a debt-free life as I have worked hard to get to this point and would like to maintain it.

8. My iPhone. Despite my struggles with smart phone addiction, which I previously mentioned in [this post], I am incredibly thankful for my iPhone SE. While it may not be the newest model on the market, it still works and brings me immense joy every day. My iPhone allows me to stay connected with people all over the world! 🌎

9. My blog. I am eternally grateful for having my blog and access to the awesome WP community, as it has allowed me to build strong connections with people who share similar interests and passions. I’m filled with joy to respond to comments and connect with my friends on this platform. Every single one of you leave such beautiful and kind comments, which I always look forward to reading each day.

10. Podcasts. If you see me with airpods in my ears, it’s almost certain that I’m listening to an educational or self-development podcast. Podcasts are my go-to source of entertainment and I often find myself learning something new. Occasionally, I’ll listen to some music, but almost exclusively instrumental pieces; lyrics tend to distract me too much.

11. Animal Crossing. Animal Crossing: New Horizons (ACNH) has been a source of great fun to me. Even though there’s other games to play on the Nintendo Switch, I still find myself playing ACNH often. Animal Crossing has provided me the opportunity to step away from my depression and concentrate on building something beautiful.

Screenshots are my own → I am always improving my 5-star Island!🏝️🍒

(っ◔V◔)っ Please Note: Unfortunately, I cannot give players a tour of my Animal Crossing Island without renewing the online subscription first, which is a scam in my humble opinion. I am not paying for it this year! 🙇‍♀️

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥

As you can see, there are 11 items on my list again which was intentional btw. I wanted to ensure the negative list and positive list were evenly balanced. And like I said last time, if I sat down for an hour to really reflect and journal about it, the list would be much longer. Overall, I think that it’s important to take time out of your busy day to think about the things that bring you joy and to practice gratitude. I highly encourage you to create your own list of the things that make you happy.

Thanks for stopping by! ❤️

6 Subtle Signs of Loneliness

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(っ◔V◔)っSerious Question: Do You Struggle with Loneliness?

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒.

Photo by Clément Falize on Unsplash

It is never good to be lonely and it can even lead to feeling vulnerable. There are times when you may feel like you don’t need anyone, even though we all need people around us. I know how it feels and I want to reassure you that you’re not alone.

You might not be aware of how lonely you are. People have different ways of showing the warning signs, but if you ever have the sense that you’re lonely, it is best to deal with it as soon as possible. Knowing these early warning signs can help prevent feelings of isolation. Here are 6 signs to help you determine if you are struggling with loneliness.

Disclaimer: The same article can be found on Medium, but is behind a paywall. If you are still interested in checking it out, then you can do so by clicking on the following link:

♡ Medium Article: 6 Subtle Signs of Loneliness

6 Subtle Signs of Loneliness

1. You often feel bored.

Do you often feel lonely and bored? Do you have days where you have nothing to do and no one to hang out with? Is your social life a little dull?

It may surprise you to know that these feelings are not uncommon. Humans are social beings whose brains are designed for connection. People need connection and it doesn’t matter if we’re trying to connect with friends, family, or strangers. But if you don’t have many friends or if you’re not close to the ones you have, your life may start becoming monotonous. You spend every day doing tasks by yourself, eating meals alone, and scrolling through your phone without really paying attention to it. In this case, the boredom you feel could mean that you’re feeling lonely.

2. You have nobody to lean on.

Who do you have in your life who can support you during tough times? Do you have a friend that is always there for you to talk about what’s bothering you over the phone or in person?

Imagine that you had a long day that has gone from bad to worse. You finally get home and your mind is still racing. You want to speak with someone about how you are feeling but don’t want to overwhelm them with your problems. You reach for your phone and scroll through the contacts, but you are unable to find even one person who would understand how you feel. Who do you call if you’re having trouble finding someone to talk to? Not only are you feeling stressed but you’re struggling with loneliness too.

Loneliness is not just about not being able to find someone to spend time with. It’s about not having a close friend that you can talk to, who can help you sort out the bad things that happen in your life. You might have people you see at work or school or neighbors with whom you talk about the weather. However, it’s also essential to have someone who will be there for you when things get tough.

Photo by lilartsy on Unsplash

3. You overshare when someone gives you the time of day.

Do you speak quickly when you’re having a conversation? Do you speak in great detail, sharing lots of personal information that you might regret later?

Oversharing is another sign of loneliness. Lonely people might talk a lot just to fill the void, but not necessarily in person where they could connect with others. People have a deep social need to connect and when we finally find someone who listens, it can be hard to restrain our thoughts. The sudden outpouring of all that pent-up loneliness can often be overwhelming for both parties.

4. You are jealous of others having a good time.

How do you feel when you see a group of friends hanging out and you weren’t invited? How do you feel when you see all those pictures on social media of people having fun? Do you feel indifferent or does it make you feel jealous?

If you are currently feeling lonely and left out, know that it is normal to want to spend time hanging out with friends rather than being alone. And even if nobody talks about it openly, it is obvious that many people share the same desire—nobody likes to feel left out. As a result, it wouldn’t surprise me that the fear of missing out (aka. FOMO) is directly related to this natural human desire to feel included.

5. You distract yourself with self-care activities.

Yes, you read that correctly! But please hear me out on this. If you find yourself constantly distracted by things that make you feel good, such as warm baths, bath bombs, or a hot cup of coffee, but your ambitions or goals aren’t being fulfilled, then maybe this is a sign that you are craving comfort. There is nothing inherently wrong with self-care, but consider how much time (and money) you invest in these activities daily.

A while ago, I published an article on this blog, with self-care ideas that are free or inexpensive. Why not take a look and see if you can find anything that would be helpful to you?

♡ Related Article: Affordable Self-Care Ideas

6. You compensate by shopping and hoarding things.

Do you enjoy shopping a little too much? Does your home have an excessive amount of clutter? Do you feel like you can’t stop yourself from shopping and don’t know why?

As children, we find a sense of security and emotional support in our favorite teddy bears and blankets. When we feel unsafe as adults, it can be satisfying to buy our way back to safety. When we are feeling lonely, for instance, buying items that make us feel safe and protected can become addictive. We want things like clothes, trinkets, and jewelry that make us feel like the world knows we exist, even though they don’t actually solve the underlying problem. Being attached to objects might be an attempt to compensate for the loneliness you feel.

👉You might be feeling lonely at the moment, but don’t let that get to you. Here are a few things you can do to start feeling better:

  1. Talking to someone can help you open up about what you’re going through. Whether you prefer professional therapy or just want to talk to your family and friends, they must know how they can help.
  2. Engaging in social activities like volunteering or joining a sports club are all good ways of socializing with others and keeping a healthy mind.
  3. Taking care of our bodies is vital. It applies to both mental and physical health and ensures that we can live with a sense of quality in our lives. Drink plenty of water, get outside for some sun rays, and try to get your blood pumping!

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥

It is natural to feel lonely at some point, but don’t let it get you down. Reach out to friends, or try other creative ways to meet new people and make connections. Remember that you are not alone in how you feel and there are so many people who are going through the same challenges as you. You can ask for help and support when things get tough and it is okay to talk about how you’re feeling.

Did any of these points resonate with you? Let me know by joining the conversation below ↓ Feel free to share this article with anyone who might be struggling with loneliness.

Thanks for stopping by! ❤

Living Rent-Free

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No, I am not talking about the literal definition of living rent-free. If you are allowing someone else to live rent-free in your head, that could be a problem.

Disclaimer: I believe this idea is more of an advanced concept in personal growth and development because the hardest part is being able to identify and address it as it is happening. This means that we need to already have developed a type of mindfulness that is often found in more advanced personal-development practices. It’s also a lot harder to teach people about the benefits of this concept for themselves, so I want you to keep an open mind while reading. Let’s begin, shall we?

♡ Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

My husband often tells me that I unintentionally give other people free rein to live rent-free in my head and it has been really affecting me in a negative way. I know he is right, and that’s why I want to address what living rent-free actually is and how we can catch ourselves doing it before it consumes us. It’s not just about mental health — living rent-free is also very taxing on the human body in all aspects. It takes up space in our brains, causing us to not have the energy or room to be the best version of ourselves, and drains our stamina to do more productive things. Yikes.

It’s important to always stay aware of the cause and identify what you can do about it so that you get relief. Figuring out how to break the cycle of negative thoughts is hard, but it does get easier the more you work at it. Furthermore, it’s important to know that there are a number of ways to help you break out of this cycle by learning the underlying causes behind your energy drain and where this “energy zap” is coming from.

(っ◔◡◔)っFYI: What does it mean to live rent-free?

Rent-free is a term used by young people to mean, “allowing someone to occupy your thoughts.” It is also a slang expression and catchphrase used to describe how someone holds a grudge or allows an individual to occupy their thoughts, often meant to mock that person. This can be seen as an insult because it suggests that the person does not have any control over their own mind. Believe it or not, this is becoming a major problem in today’s society and people are too lenient with themselves and others. It’s interesting to think about how negative energy affects our mental state.

♡ Related Article: Boundaries Matter

What are the consequences?

Living in someone else’s head can be difficult to deal with, especially if the relationship is one-sided. One of the many side effects is constantly thinking about them and letting their presence linger in your thoughts. This can be very difficult to live with, not only because it feels like you’re never getting a break from that person, but also because it tends to make your mental state worse. If you don’t do anything about it, it could manifest into feelings of guilt, self-doubt, and depression — all of which are detrimental to our mental health.

Struggling with these thoughts and feelings can be a painful experience, but the only way to truly move on is to process them. Other people may struggle with intrusive thoughts and feelings as well, but this doesn’t mean that they are alone because there are many ways to overcome these difficulties. Trust me — I have experienced it first hand. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing about this topic.

“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” — Ann Landers

If you are experiencing intrusive thoughts and feelings, it is important to be aware that these can really leave you feeling overwhelmed and weighed down emotionally. However, the most effective way to deal with these emotions is to learn how to process them and understand them. If we try to ignore these negative emotions or push them down, then they will continue to live in our heads.

Remember, you are not weak because you have let someone live rent-free in your head. You have been strong and you have prevailed. The last thing I want you to think is that you’re the victim because that’s just not true. You have more control over the situation than you might think! 💪

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥

Finally, I can’t tell you how to process this stuff. All that I ask is that you get the help you need if therapy is a good option for you. Everyone has their own way of dealing with people, but if your strong and negative emotions are making it hard for you to function, then therapy could be the right option for you. Thus, I encourage you to explore different options and find what’s best for you.

If you have any thoughts that you would like to share with me, please leave a comment by joining the conversation below ↓ I had previously posted this blog post on Medium, which now has a paywall. If you want to support me on my writing journey, I would greatly appreciate it if you read my articles over at Medium (a starving writer needs to eat), but if you don’t have a Medium Membership that’s totally understandable.

Thanks for stopping by! ❤

10 Ways to Change a Negative Mindset

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When I was still active on Instagram @serene_hilz, I posted an IG story about my struggle with handling strong, negative emotions. I realize that I am naturally drawn towards negativity, so perhaps that is why I attract more of it in my life. Lately, I have been reading more negative blog posts than usual, and I believe that this could be due to my newsfeed. Not surprisingly, I tend to follow like-minded individuals who seem to be negative like myself. After all, misery loves company.

っ(◔_◔)っSerious Question: How are we supposed to embrace negative emotions so we can get on with our day and have more mental clarity? To answer this question, I have compiled a list of 10 things that can help you change your negative mindset. Let’s get started!

10 Ways to Change a Negative Mindset

1. Check your attitude. The way you think about your life, goals, dreams, and desires can make a difference in how you live your life. Think about it: If you ruminate on the things that you do not have in your life, then you will subconsciously attract more of these things in your life. Not only that, but you will also create more frustration which is harnessed from negative energy. You are ultimately doing yourself a disservice by being a Negative Nancy and there is nothing cute about whining to me or to anyone else.

2. Think Better Thoughts. What is the difference between people who feel stuck in life and people who go on to accomplish great things? Successful people think differently than the rest of the herd. Often, successful people have already changed their mindsets, whether they are aware of it or not. The good news is that it is never too late to transform your thinking patterns too. One way to adopt a growth mindset is to become aware of your negative thoughts and actively choose to think better thoughts. Stop ruminating over the things that went wrong or believing that you are a victim in life. Instead, you can channel this negativity into a creative outlet, like blogging.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. Yikes. I think this one deserves its own blog post. I cannot stress this point enough but comparison really is the thief of joy. We live in a society where social comparison dominates, and whether we admit it or not, humans love to compare and judge. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and other social media platforms really do bring out the green-eyed monster in people. Next time you feel tempted to compare yourself to someone you envy, try shifting your focus. Instead of focussing on others’ achievements, turn inwards and start focussing on your own unique qualities. I know this is easier said than done, but try counting your blessings the next time you catch yourself being envious of someone else.

4. Cry It Out! 😭 They say that “good girls don’t cry.” I hate to be the person to tell you this, but mentally stable girls cry. Big boys cry too. There is nothing bad about having a good cry. Most of us are taught that crying is immature, uncool, and a sign of weakness. If that was the case where we weren’t allowed to be vulnerable, then I would not be writing this blog post. More than ever, we need to allow ourselves to feel these feelings, both good and bad, and tears are a natural, emotional release. This, crying is a healthy way to let go of bottled-up feelings and emotional pain.

5. Forgive Others. How much time and energy do you spend being angry towards other people? Anger is obviously serving some kind of purpose in your life; otherwise, you wouldn’t be projecting anger into the universe. That being said, what good does it do for you to hold a grudge against someone who has done you wrong? Learning to forgive others is easier said than done, since negative emotions often cloud our judgment, thus making forgiveness seem like a waste of time. However, learning how to forgive others will give you peace of mind and, in turn, you will become mentally stronger.

“Unforgiveness is like drinking posion and hoping the other person dies.” – Margaret Stunt

6. Forgive Yourself. Do you say cruel things to yourself that you would never say to anyone else? Would you speak to your friends the same way you speak to yourself? Chances are, you probably judge yourself too harshly. AmIright? If you think that you are being too hard on yourself, maybe it is time to practice self-compassion and forgive yourself for being the imperfect human being that you are. We cannot undo our past mistakes, but we can choose to make better choices in the future if we can forgive ourselves and learn to trust the universe.

“You’ve been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise Hay

7. Learn to Let Go. There will always be things that you cannot control no matter how much you try to micromanage or wish for a more desirable outcome. And sometimes, feeling out of control can be overwhelming. If you believe that you are a #victim, I cannot deal with you right now. Seriously, nothing annoys me more than people who have a victim mentality. That being said, learning to let go and surrender to the universe is not the same as playing #victim. The universe works in mysterious ways and it is okay to surrender to the divine universe. Acknowledging your weaknesses and letting go of the things yet you cannot control will, in turn, make you a mentally stronger person.

8. Accept Life As It Is. Accepting reality can be scary because it means being okay with the way things are in the present moment. If you have been fighting reality, you might not be ready to accept your life as is. Similar to Point #7 it means surrendering and letting go of your fantasy self. It means facing and accepting what is, which allows you to make wiser choices in the future. Resisting reality might seem like the easier choice, but avoiding and resisting the truth has negative consequences.

9. Do Nothing. What do I mean by this, exactly? Doing nothing seems counterproductive, doesn’t it? However, doing nothing is similar to sitting in a silent room and meditating. I understand that meditation isn’t for everyone, nor am I telling you to meditate. People who have kids and/or busy schedules might not have the time to “do nothing.” A calmer mind can do wonders for your mental health if you are able to shut off the monkey chatter. The brain is not meant to run on overdrive all the freaking time!

10. Practice Mindfulness. If you haven’t been practicing mindfulness on a regular basis, start reconnecting with it by first silencing your mind. By living in the present, you break away from focusing on the past or future. If you have a philosophy background, you’ll know that the past and future are not real; the present moment is real. Since mindfulness enables us to bring our attention back to the present moment, perhaps we should start focussing on the things that are right in front of our noses. Just saying.

“Peace of mind arrives the moment you come to peace with the contents of your mind.” – Rasheed Ogunlaru

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥

When you are feeling more relaxed and calm, you will be able to focus your energy on the things that actually matter. Best of all, you will be able to think more clearly which enables you to plan and better organize your thoughts. Remember, insanity is the definition of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, so I challenge you to try something different today. Feel free to join the conversation by leaving a comment below ↓ if this blog post taught you something or made you think about things differently.

This image was edited by me aka. Mama Hillz

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

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Surviving January

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っ(◔_◔)っQuestion: Is January a depressing month for you?

It is the beginning of a New Year and I am already off to a rocky start. I have been depressed since New Year’s Eve. I wasn’t planning to stay up past midnight but my husband and daughter insisted that I watch the fireworks with them… on TV. We had planned to watch the fireworks IRL but plans were canceled due to extreme weather conditions, which is not surprising to anyone who lives in western Canada. Okay, maybe I am being a bit melodramatic, but to give you an idea of how cold Canada is, I wanted to share a photo with you that my husband took on his phone. Just looking at this photo makes me feel cold! #brrr

I am Feeling Blue (SAD)

The New Year is meant to be a hopeful time for us all. Many of us have ambitious goals and feel motivated to crush our goals or face our inner demons. How many of you are familiar with the saying, This will be my year? or New Year, New Me? As tempting as it is to push the reset button on January 1, reality does not have a reset button. January 1, 2022, is no different than December 31, 2021, unless you decide to make a change and take action to make it different. Usually, I am motivated enough to make a list of resolutions for the new year, but this year, I am struggling with my mental health which includes Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It could also be due to the fact that the holidays are over and there isn’t Christmas to occupy my mind anymore. It could also be due to the fact that I have to go out in the real world again and I have the harsh realization that I am still dealing with social anxiety. To be honest, I haven’t done much to overcome that during the Christmas holiday. 🎄🎁

❄ The Long, Long Winter ❄

I want to hide under the blankets and hibernate until spring 2022. Nothing about winter feels rejuvenating to me. I cannot wait for spring because spring brings me hope. I need longer days, warmer weather, and sunshine in order to thrive 🌞🌻 In the meantime, I know that routines are essential when it comes to surviving the long, long winter. Last year, I distracted myself by doing a No Spend Challenge in January 2021. However, this year, I don’t even have the motivation or mental energy to participate in this challenge. When I tried the No Spend Challenge last year, I enjoyed it very much so I still recommend checking out this challenge if you want to save some money and/or get out of debt. I am 30 years old and live well below my means. Both my husband and I are frugal people and we are actively saving for a brighter future. I might write more about frugality and money-saving tips in future blog posts 🤔

Insomnia Strikes Again

Confession time: I am not good with diary-style blog posts because it takes me several hours to edit them, and even longer if I am struggling to find the energy or motivation to write. I am editing this blog post on January 5, 2022, but I wrote the rough draft on January 3, 2022. To give you some context, I was supposed to work on Sunday, January 2, 2022 (day shift) but I did not sleep at all the night before. I had horrible insomnia because my 5-year old daughter kept me up until 0300 slamming doors and being obnoxious. I am a very light sleeper who needs earplugs and sleeping masks; even that doesn’t seem to help much. On day shifts, I have to wake up at 0430, so I was both physically and mentally exhausted. That morning, I had a pounding insomniac headache which forced me to call in “sick” at 0415. I feel bad for being that person who canceled last minute.

Below is a screenshot from my Instagram account. Feel free to follow me on IG even though I stopped uploading on IG a long time ago. I let go of IG because it wasn’t good for my mental health. You can only filter so much content, and even then, the algorithm is not perfect. There always seemed to be something triggering on IG no matter what I did which is why I took an extra-long, extended hiatus. Looking back, using #victim as a hashtag was a bit melodoramatic. Anywho…. as you can see, insomnia is still an ongoing problem in my life which could also be contributing to my $hit mood. 😴 I have tried everything to help me sleep and I even wrote a blog post about improving sleep hygiene a couple years ago. Insomnia is an ongoing problem for many of us who live in cold climates.

Not only am I disappointed when other people let me down, but I feel really bad when I let others down. I admit that I feel guilty for canceling my shift when I know that they are counting on me to show up and be present at work. I also noticed that this is not the first time that I had to cancel a day shift due to insomnia. What is it about early mornings that I despise so much? I call these “sick” days my mental health days or self-care days. I have to remember to be kind to myself, especially on days when I am struggling with anxiety and depression. Also, I have to remember to practice self-compassion which has started to gain more popularity over the years, especially in the mental health community. If you haven’t heard of the self-compassion movement, I recommend checking out this Ted Talk by Kristin Neff on Youtube.

I had planned to stay in bed all day but then I remembered that I had to go to work the following day (another day shift). Then I remembered that the world goes on without me whether I like it or not, and that the Earth will keep spinning regardless of how I feel. Sometimes, taking a day off after a horrible night of insomnia is absolutely necessary, but I cannot hide under the blankets forever. I know that I will have to get out of bed today and that it is only a matter of time before I have to go back to work. Tomorrow will come and I will have to face the real world once more. I might not see the light right now, but I know that there will be happier, sunnier days ahead.

Do you believe that changing seasons affect your mood? If you live in the northern hemisphere with a cold climate, how do you get enough sunlight? Please join the conversation by leaving a comment below ↓ I look forward to reading your comments. I hope that you are all staying safe and healthy during the winter season. 😷

Thanks for stopping by!

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Lingering Hope

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My goal for the New Year is to upload more content without setting a set-in-stone schedule. Lately, I have been bothered by the amount of negativity taking place in the WP community. That being said, I am not going to let one Torontonian blogger dim my sparkle! ✨ I recently caught on that she has been purposely shadow-banning me on her blog by removing me from her follower list and sending all of my comments to her spam folder. Seriously, who goes out of their way to remove followers?

This past week, I have been meditating and reflecting on a few things and I realize that drama, both offline and online, negatively impacts my mental health and well-being. This week, I started cutting back on the amount of time I spend on my phone, especially social media, even though the bulk of the drama is taking place in the WordPress community. I don’t think that she and her followers (some are my followers as well) know that I have read their comments. Be careful what you say, because not only do your words dig deep but they also say a lot about your character. Personally, I love how Ryan Biddulph from Twitter handles this kinda thing.

Lingering Hope

Disclaimer: This poem was originally posted as its own daughter page, so nobody stumbled upon it. Even though this poem is unrelated to my little rant *above* I still wanted to include the poem in this blog post, as a way to bring more content to you all. If you like this poem, feel free to check out my other poetry musings here ⭐

Thanks for reading! ♡

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