Lingering Hope

My goal for the New Year is to upload more content without setting a set-in-stone schedule. Lately, I have been bothered by the amount of negativity taking place in the WP community. That being said, I am not going to let one Torontonian blogger dim my sparkle! ✨ I recently caught on that she has been purposely shadow-banning me on her blog by removing me from her follower list and sending all of my comments to her spam folder. Seriously, who goes out of their way to remove followers?

This past week, I have been meditating and reflecting on a few things and I realize that drama, both offline and online, negatively impacts my mental health and well-being. This week, I started cutting back on the amount of time I spend on my phone, especially social media, even though the bulk of the drama is taking place in the WordPress community. I don’t think that she and her followers (some are my followers as well) know that I have read their comments. Be careful what you say, because not only do your words dig deep but they also say a lot about your character. Personally, I love how Ryan Biddulph from Twitter handles this kinda thing.

Lingering Hope

Disclaimer: This poem was originally posted as its own daughter page, so nobody stumbled upon it. Even though this poem is unrelated to my little rant *above* I still wanted to include the poem in this blog post, as a way to bring more content to you all. If you like this poem, feel free to check out my other poetry musings here ⭐

Thanks for reading! ♡

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Published by Hilary Tan

I am currently in the process of finding my inner goddess as I search for inner peace, find mental clarity, develop mental toughness, and crush goals. Come join me on this journey so we can live our best lives!

26 thoughts on “Lingering Hope”

  2. Liz says:

    Taking a break from social media at times can do a world of good. While things have been difficult, I had to review what was happening via Twitter and reduce time away, as although not related, just added to the mood I was feeling.
    I could not think why anyone would want to block you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      It’s so hard to grow a following on Twitter and I’m beginning to realize that it’s a complete waste of time. This is the first time I figured out how to share a tweet directly on this blog so that’s kinda cool. I might use it for quotes and stuff in the future. That’s probably the only useful thing that Twitter has to offer at this point.

      This particular blogger thinks I’m annoying because I tried re-following her a handful of times. I thought there was a glitch with WP (Sorry WP for blaming you). I unfollowed her once because she was spamming my reader with posts I wasn’t interested in. I’m still not sure what made her so angry. Blocking doesn’t really do much on WP because you can still read someone’s blog if you’re logged out.

      Liked by 2 people

      • 𝑹𝒐𝑩𝑰𝑵 ☄️ says:

        There are some crazies on WordPress and the Internet in general! Sometimes I follow one out of curiosity 🤭.

        I have worked in retail a few times before and it’s definitely reflective of the general population. A lot of them have delusions of grandeur so makes sense they’d concentrate here. Anyways. Should probably shut up.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hilary Tan says:

        Bad news is that not everyone is who they appear to be – there are many “pretended” people who sound really nice but secretly have their own agenda. Be careful out there. You’re not wrong about retail either. I’ve been through it myself and have done my fair share of it in the past.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Liz says:

        For Twitter, like blogging, I don’t view as how many followers I can get. But Twitter is an extension for me. I have had a love hate relationship in the past with Twitter. But this time I find it useful and nice to be there. But at times, when I do need to get away, I know my followers who want to follow me, will still be there.
        I have found Twitter to be supportive with the many I chat with, who I follow and vice versa, who follow me. Its been a good place to chit-chat with those few too. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hilary Tan says:

        This drama and passive-aggressive blog post was found here on WordPress. Twitter is an extension of me as well and I don’t get much traffic over on Twitter. I quit Twitter on my phone because all of the self-promoting was taking up too much time.

        I still count blogging as a form of social media. This reminds of me of these lyrics from Barney: “And your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends…..” Yikes.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Liz says:

        Yes, my blog still counts as social media too. I have had my blog longer than Twitter, so it wouldn’t replace. But a nice extension.
        I have had good conversations here too. 🙂

        Yes, Twitter can easily take your time up for self-promoting.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Lotus Laura says:

    That’s insane!!! 😠🙄 social media can be so toxic, and it’s expected on popular platforms like twitter and Instagram. But very sad that the drama is following to WordPress. I always thought this is the one “safe space” — although there is no such thing as real safe space on the internet. I have dealt with a few trolls on WordPress but I am upset to hear that it’s getting worse.

    Beautiful poem ✨

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Thank you, Laura! I have been meaning to reply to you. Just when I think the drama has subsided, I’m dealing with more drama! 😒 Social media is the absolute worst because we can’t completely get away from toxic people. There are always reminders of them, regardless of whether they are out of sight (out of mind?). WP is probably the least toxic, but even then I see constant reminders everywhere. You nailed it when you said that “there is no such thing as real safe space on the internet.”

      Liked by 1 person

  5. bosssybabe says:

    What?! I’m from Toronto! Ok but I know it’s not me!! 😂 Sorry you’ve had to deal with negativity… I never shy away from cutting that stuff out so I’m so glad you were able to as well! Happy new year!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      No, it’s not you! You’re too nice 😇 My in-laws are from the GTA and they live 15min from Toronto. I’ve been to TO many times and my cousin also lives in TO. Wow, it’s such a small world, isn’t it?

      Tbh I thought I shared a lot in common with this blogger but I guess she thought otherwise, even though we grew up in neighboring cities in ON. I think she’s making a big mistake by purposing removing followers and shadow-banning comments. It’s the way she went about it which was very upsetting to me, and the comments…. people accused me of being a stalker and all sorts of other mean things 🙇‍♀️ I only block people as a last resort and even then, it doesn’t prevent someone from reading your blog. She wanted me to “go away” so I guess her wish came true. Her loss though!

      Happy New Year @bosssybabe! 🥂🥳

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      When they troll, troll back! Just kidding… don’t troll. But sometimes I can’t help it and have to fight back. The only way I know how to fight is through my writing. 🙇‍♀️

      Thanks for reading, Christina! It means so much to have your support. I definitely feel less alone in this crazy world. It’s nice knowing that people are reading these blog posts. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • ceponatia says:

        I have almost 500 followers but only 4 consistently interact with me, so I don’t think of the other 496 as legitimate people. More like people who thought that if they followed me I’d follow them back. Oops!

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Hi Samantha! I took a break from using the WP reader so I don’t engage as much with people as I used to, but it gives my mind space to think and not get sucked into the drama.

      I might try subscribing to notifications from the bloggers I enjoy getting updates from – like your blog! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. amymayj says:

    So true – I’ve had a few similar issues lately and it really puts you in a crappy mindset when it comes down to blogging. I hope you find a bit more positivity over the coming weeks!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Hi Amy! I actually ended up taking a break from the WP Reader for various reasons. I still check blog comments from time to time but it’s a lot less frequent than it used to be.

      Before, I tried engaging with everyone I followed and I guess not everyone clicked with me. Trying not to take it personally but it’s kinda hard not to! I ended up blocking all of the bloggers involved with the drama (there were 3 as far as I know – maybe there’s more but I just don’t care anymore) and it’s been okay ever since.

      Like

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