What’s Up Buttercup?

My mom left me in charge to take care of the dog. No notice just wakes me up from my deep sleep to tell me that there was more leftover money from the Bridal Shower that she threw for me the other day. She makes leftovers seem like it is something to avoided, but I would never turn down money. My hand ached last night from all of the thank-you’s I wrote out by hand and mailed. I have multiple bandages on my blistered fingers to prove it!  I can’t even imagine how many hours of thank-you’s there will be from the wedding this coming may, and the number of handwritten notes there will be until my fingers seize up.

My mother makes a point to remind me that I should be in her debt for the rest of my life – that I should utterly grateful for all of her generosity and sacrifices she made since the day she gave birth to me. Yet, she fails miserably with that horrible attitude that she displays on a daily basis which makes me want to rip my hair out. I have no idea where my mother disappeared to this morning. She hardly tells me anything and probably assumes that I went back to bed. The family room doors are tied to lock out the dog, so she already came to that conclusion that I wouldn’t be down here. Once I am woken from sleep, it is almost impossible to go back to bed. Since coming home, my morning usually starts being obnoxious around 7am or 8am. On a lucky day, I might get to sleep in until 11 am at the latest.pexels-photo-316776

Now if only I had this type of discipline in Saskatchewan, where I am currently living with my husband to be. By the time we go back to Saskatchewan, we will be married. I was never a fan of weddings – all of the attention, the hype and the $$$ for one freaking day. Compared to my cousins though, I think my wedding will be the best. Not to be biased or anything by my mother likes to go over the top to make sure everything is perfect. My fiance and I are not having a honeymoon which is fine by me. We have to fly back the day after our wedding so he can work the following day. Despite the lack of honeymoon, Asia is still on my list of places to visit. We might end up going to Asia next June if things work out in our favour.

Now back to my sad reality. I woke up the other morning with blood marks on my pillow and an ant biting my face, dangling by a hair strand. I killed that bastard as quickly as I could and threw the pillow across the room. The ant infestation is bad – they invaded last year and we finally defeated them with poison. Since the ants only seem to be congregating mostly in my room and the upstairs hallway, my dad refuses to help me get rid of them. He is very lazy and doesn’t seem to care that there are ANTS – possibly the carpenter ones that destroy wood, in OUR house! I read somewhere that Febreeze kills them which doesn’t surprise me since it’s a laboratory concoction of nasty chemicals. It seemed to ward them off for now because I was not attacked by ants biting my face this morning, nor did I see any on the walls. If this potion continues to work I am buying 10 bottles of “fresh linen” killer-ant-spray. I don’t have much else to add today since it just began, so have a wonderful day lovelies!

 

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Wedding Day Decorations

 

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Wedding Layout and Decorations

 

 

 

 

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A Little About Myself

I have decided to take up this odd hobby called blogging. Ever since my daughter was born, I have lost all desire in posting on Fakebook, Instagram and I hardly deal with Twitter. It’s scary… starting from scratch and feeling overwhelmed by the burden of branding yourself. What if nobody reads my posts? Am I just wasting my time? I keep telling myself that this is for me to look back on one day, as a way to document my life.

Now am back at square one and want to make my life memorable without the nagging and pestering people door to door, the cold-calling and the other nightmarish marketing tactics that they taught us to do. I am tired of selling people shit they could use but don’t want, and that I don’t need (thanks to auto-ship). Here sits, several bottles later of nutritional powders and pills on my parent’s shelf, unopened and expired. I decided to quit selling products and instead do something good for the world. Right now I am studying courses for school because I came to the conclusion that I want to have a career which requires more education.

So why am I here? Lonely, bored, mid-life-twenties crisis I guess. I try and make an effort to talk to my friends around the world on a daily basis. However, some of them have not been as reciprocative as I would have hoped for. Some of these people have been moved from my “friends I trust’ list to my “fair-weather friends who only call me when they want something or never bother with me or bail on me all the time” list. It’s come down to this: I really need new friends. I have made a few online friends and they have helped me cope with my loneliness and yet there is still a large hole in my heart that is waiting to be filled with fun and excitement. I can only talk to a screen and engage with a virtual reality for so long before becoming disconnected from the real world and swept into Facebook, where I end up comparing myself to others, feeling bad about myself and wasting time trying to build a “brand” for myself to get others to like me. GAH!

I needed to get away from it all so I’ve decided to take up blogging as a personal hobby with the hope that some poor soul will stumble across my stuff one day and make me famous. (kidding!) If this blog reaches 500 people I would be ecstatic. Currently, my old slow-as-f*** Toshiba is broken and my unreliable Macbook that I got a year ago died on me. I am stuck using my dad’s laptop when he is not using it – and squeezing in some writing time on some program that is NOT called Microsoft Word, because my technology-challenged parents never bothered installing this useful software. It is amazing that I am even able to write anything for that matter, without them questioning my every move and dissecting my writing. I am a free writer. I do not commit to anything and hate following guidelines and rules. I love to let my ideas flow freely like a waterfall on a sunny day and get totally disengaged from the real world. I have taken up reading again for a hobby because I find it relaxing and a great escape from life’s burdens. Since coming home to visit my parents and prepare for my wedding, I feel like I am living in the 1900’s with limited technology and lack of entertainment. I have to come up with my own “fun” similar to how a little kid plays make believe.

I guess you could say that I have a good life from the observer’s point of view. But let me tell you, it is not all sunshine and rainbows here. You would think that I would have my life together at 24 and my dream job by now. It still eats away at me knowing that my best bet of ever finding employment is to go back to school even though I have a B.Sc in Biological Sciences. It’s not enough to get you a job at a laboratory in the middle of freaking nowhere.The people I talk to on my second Facebook account (that’s right, I have more than one) know me the best and probably know more about my private life than they should. Most of them don’t have jobs either or are very dissatisfied with their lives. I guess misery loves company because I make a great depressing companion. If you ask them about my personal life, they know me better than I know myself.  I am a bit of an open book that way and will spill my emotions and thoughts if you let me. They know my weaknesses and can usually get the details out of me. However,

Misery loves company because I make a great depressing companion. If you ask them about my personal life, they know me better than I know myself.  I am a bit of an open book that way and will spill my emotions and thoughts if you let me. They know my weaknesses and can usually get the details out of me. However, lately I have been more rigid and not letting my guard down so easily. As for why I have a second account, I’ll save that for another day. I have been through hell and back recently and not even my parents are lecturing me on my actions. For once they are able to relate to me since they’ve been through the same thing.

Overall, I am an average girl trying to compete with the rest of the world for “average” and I think I am doing a pretty damn good job. Considering I didn’t get into the dating scene until my early 20’s (you didn’t see me complain about me being single at 17), I managed to get by quite well. Luckily, I met the right guy at the right time and I thank God every day for this blessing. Personally, I am more of a family-focussed person and value family as something everyone should have. It is something I didn’t really have as a kid and felt left out when other people did fun things with their families and had siblings to play with. As a little girl, I knew that I wanted a large family. Getting there, however, was a huge challenge and I didn’t see myself accomplishing this great leap. I guess this is where I should wrap things up since I am blabbering away about things and nobody really knows who I am yet. Later gators!

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