10 Ways to Change a Negative Mindset

When I was still active on Instagram @serene_hilz, I posted an IG story about my struggle with handling strong, negative emotions. I realize that I am naturally drawn towards negativity, so perhaps that is why I attract more of it in my life. Lately, I have been reading more negative blog posts than usual, and I believe that this could be due to my newsfeed. Not surprisingly, I tend to follow like-minded individuals who seem to be negative like myself. After all, misery loves company.

(◔_◔)っSerious Question: How are we supposed to embrace negative emotions so we can get on with our day and have more mental clarity? To answer this question, I have compiled a list of 10 things that can help you change your negative mindset. Let’s get started!

10 Ways to Change a Negative Mindset

1. Check your attitude. The way you think about your life, goals, dreams, and desires can make a difference in how you live your life. Think about it: If you ruminate on the things that you do not have in your life, then you will subconsciously attract more of these things in your life. Not only that, but you will also create more frustration which is harnessed from negative energy. You are ultimately doing yourself a disservice by being a Negative Nancy and there is nothing cute about whining to me or to anyone else.

2. Think Better Thoughts. What is the difference between people who feel stuck in life and people who go on to accomplish great things? Successful people think differently than the rest of the herd. Often, successful people have already changed their mindsets, whether they are aware of it or not. The good news is that it is never too late to transform your thinking patterns too. One way to adopt a growth mindset is to become aware of your negative thoughts and actively choose to think better thoughts. Stop ruminating over the things that went wrong or believing that you are a victim in life. Instead, you can channel this negativity into a creative outlet, like blogging.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. Yikes. I think this one deserves its own blog post. I cannot stress this point enough but comparison really is the thief of joy. We live in a society where social comparison dominates, and whether we admit it or not, humans love to compare and judge. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and other social media platforms really do bring out the green-eyed monster in people. Next time you feel tempted to compare yourself to someone you envy, try shifting your focus. Instead of focussing on others’ achievements, turn inwards and start focussing on your own unique qualities. I know this is easier said than done, but try counting your blessings the next time you catch yourself being envious of someone else.

4. Cry It Out! 😭 They say that “good girls don’t cry.” I hate to be the person to tell you this, but mentally stable girls cry. Big boys cry too. There is nothing bad about having a good cry. Most of us are taught that crying is immature, uncool, and a sign of weakness. If that was the case where we weren’t allowed to be vulnerable, then I would not be writing this blog post. More than ever, we need to allow ourselves to feel these feelings, both good and bad, and tears are a natural, emotional release. This, crying is a healthy way to let go of bottled-up feelings and emotional pain.

5. Forgive Others. How much time and energy do you spend being angry towards other people? Anger is obviously serving some kind of purpose in your life; otherwise, you wouldn’t be projecting anger into the universe. That being said, what good does it do for you to hold a grudge against someone who has done you wrong? Learning to forgive others is easier said than done, since negative emotions often cloud our judgment, thus making forgiveness seem like a waste of time. However, learning how to forgive others will give you peace of mind and, in turn, you will become mentally stronger.

“Unforgiveness is like drinking posion and hoping the other person dies.” – Margaret Stunt

6. Forgive Yourself. Do you say cruel things to yourself that you would never say to anyone else? Would you speak to your friends the same way you speak to yourself? Chances are, you probably judge yourself too harshly. AmIright? If you think that you are being too hard on yourself, maybe it is time to practice self-compassion and forgive yourself for being the imperfect human being that you are. We cannot undo our past mistakes, but we can choose to make better choices in the future if we can forgive ourselves and learn to trust the universe.

“You’ve been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise Hay

7. Learn to Let Go. There will always be things that you cannot control no matter how much you try to micromanage or wish for a more desirable outcome. And sometimes, feeling out of control can be overwhelming. If you believe that you are a #victim, I cannot deal with you right now. Seriously, nothing annoys me more than people who have a victim mentality. That being said, learning to let go and surrender to the universe is not the same as playing #victim. The universe works in mysterious ways and it is okay to surrender to the divine universe. Acknowledging your weaknesses and letting go of the things yet you cannot control will, in turn, make you a mentally stronger person.

8. Accept Life As It Is. Accepting reality can be scary because it means being okay with the way things are in the present moment. If you have been fighting reality, you might not be ready to accept your life as is. Similar to Point #7 it means surrendering and letting go of your fantasy self. It means facing and accepting what is, which allows you to make wiser choices in the future. Resisting reality might seem like the easier choice, but avoiding and resisting the truth has negative consequences.

9. Do Nothing. What do I mean by this, exactly? Doing nothing seems counterproductive, doesn’t it? However, doing nothing is similar to sitting in a silent room and meditating. I understand that meditation isn’t for everyone, nor am I telling you to meditate. People who have kids and/or busy schedules might not have the time to “do nothing.” A calmer mind can do wonders for your mental health if you are able to shut off the monkey chatter. The brain is not meant to run on overdrive all the freaking time!

10. Practice Mindfulness. If you haven’t been practicing mindfulness on a regular basis, start reconnecting with it by first silencing your mind. By living in the present, you break away from focusing on the past or future. If you have a philosophy background, you’ll know that the past and future are not real; the present moment is real. Since mindfulness enables us to bring our attention back to the present moment, perhaps we should start focussing on the things that are right in front of our noses. Just saying.

“Peace of mind arrives the moment you come to peace with the contents of your mind.” – Rasheed Ogunlaru


When you are feeling more relaxed and calm, you will be able to focus your energy on the things that actually matter. Best of all, you will be able to think more clearly which enables you to plan and better organize your thoughts. Remember, insanity is the definition of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, so I challenge you to try something different today. Feel free to join the conversation by leaving a comment below ↓ if this blog post taught you something or made you think about things differently.

This image was edited by me aka. Mama Hillz

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

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30 thoughts on “10 Ways to Change a Negative Mindset

    • Hilary Tan says:

      It is so true that crying is very cathartic and can be a way of self-soothing. There are many physical and mental benefits to crying, including lowering your blood pressure, releasing endorphins that make you feel better, and reducing pain sensations. Crying is healthy!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Poorwa Vishwakarma says:

    Such a good post, Hilary! Loved reading this ❤ Sometimes just letting it all out through tears can make us feel so better. And it’s really annoying when they say “men don’t cry”, I mean I don’t understand the sense behind that 😒
    Anyway, you did a great job editing the image🤩 Awesome!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pooja G says:

    These are all really great tips! Much like you I seem to be drawn to negativity to some extent and that can make life pretty difficult. I always find a good cry helps and so does letting go of things instead of holding on to negative feelings. I’ve also been trying to make a conscious effort to be more positive and surround myself with more positive energy/things/people.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Being surrounded by negativity is something we all deal with. I am working on this myself and am trying to find ways of dealing with it better every day. It’s not easy, but that doesn’t mean you should give up looking for solutions! Yes, it all starts with making a conscious effort – you’re totally right about that. If we cannot escape negativity, the least we can do is surround ourselves around positive people and be open to new experiences. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. buddy71 says:

    As a nurse who used to work in the ER and who used to work for the state making sure nursing homes were safe, I had to learn to look for the negative stuff. For it’s the negative stuff that causes the problems and why people would come to the ER or cause problems in nursing homes. I guess that’s why I do my photography for then I’m looking for the positive things and not the negatives.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      It’s almost as if the negative stuff can be expected, and having a void of negativity would be abnormal 😂 It’s good that you found a way to find positivity and the joy that comes from photography despite having a stressful job. Blogging is what brings me joy, but with that brings negativity.


  4. kiki | soyvirgo.com says:

    this is such a great list and something i needed! i sure try with positive thoughts and it works of course, why would you think more negative thoughts when something in your life is not going great? its better to think positive for me because im able to help myself and move on to the next best option

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      I agree that it’s easier to think more clearly with a positive mindset, even if it feels like our words are spinning out of control sometimes! Even when everything around me is a dumpster fire (like right now for instance), I am still finding a way to push through these difficult times.


  5. GoodLuckNow says:

    I enjoyed this post. It was concise and gave plenty of steps and ideas for anyone to go by.

    “Seriously, nothing annoys me more than people who have a victim mentality. That being said, learning to let go and surrender to the universe is not the same as playing #victim. ”

    This is a very powerful statement and I agree with you. Mindset is crucial to healing, processing and being able to get through any negative event. We all need to remember this and practice even if its just as simple as doing nothing, or taking a breath, and ultimately forgiving ourselves and everyone.

    Thank you for your post.

    Liked by 1 person

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