Don’t Feed The Bears

(っ◔◡◔)っ Question: Are you familiar with the saying, “Don’t feed the trolls?”

The saying is essentially telling you that the best way to deal with trolls or people who are deliberately trying to provoke or anger you is to ignore them rather than give them a mature response. This means that any time a troll pops up online making inflammatory remarks, you are supposed to ignore them because responding would derail the thread and give them the attention they want. Or so they say.

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I use a similar saying, “Don’t feed the bears,” which is essentially the same thing as “Don’t feed [or provoke] the trolls.” Seemingly innocent people online can be trolls. Thus, if you let them live rent-free in your head, then you are letting them win. I recently wrote an article where I talked about the concept of letting someone live rent-free in your head you can read more about it here:

♡ Related article: Living Rent-Free

Beware of the Bears

I recently encountered a blogger who took to her personal blog to wish me bad karma. She also left some inflammatory remarks that she later deleted. I, of course, saved screenshots to my phone which I can share if needed but I am not going to do that. I am not going to be the one who ruins the chance for peace in this person’s life. I have never met her personally, but I know that she has left a deep and lasting impression on my heart that is unlikely to heal any time soon. I am probably being overly dramatic, but my feelings are valid and her words cut deep.

♡ Related blog post: Lingering Hope

Your Energy Is Sacred

Learning how to protect your energy, whether it is online or offline, is important for your mental health. Sometimes, the best way to help combat internet drama is to take a step back and find something that will distract you from it. Sometimes, this is as simple as taking a bath or going for a walk, but other times it may be necessary to find new activities that are calming. The last thing you want to do (as tempting as it is) is to interact with those who aren’t respecting your energy.

“You can’t protect your energy, but you can protect your peace.”— Unknown

Should You Have the Last Say?

I advise you to do your best to avoid interactions with negative or argumentative people either online or in the real world as much as possible. Doing so will help you maintain your sanity and keep your energy levels up without becoming too drained and frustrated. Trust me, I know that it is very tempting to try and seek revenge on the person who has wronged you and wants to make your life difficult, but believe me when I say that it isn’t worth your time or energy. Though we cannot go back and change the past, we can always protect our energy now by walking away from people who no longer serve us.

👉 So you might be wondering what to do if you cannot let them go. Well, you could try blocking them.

It might sound harsh, but you could try blocking them on all of your social media accounts. Try to think of it as ripping off a band-aid — it’s going to hurt for a little bit, but you’ll want to get it over and done with as soon as possible. Sometimes, blocking is simply not enough. If you have been as fortunate as I have (sarcasm), then you may have encountered a leader bear and her follower cubs. I bet you didn’t see that coming! The best way to make the mother bear and her cub followers back off is to block them, as they will eventually lose interest and stop trying to contact you.

Hopefully, you realized by now that Mama bear is the troll and her cubs are the loyal followers who will always stand up for her, no matter what.

“We’ll never turn on Mama bear, she’s our best friend!”

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(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥

With the rise of social media, people now have the ability to comment on anything they want. This means that people are able to express their thoughts and feelings publicly and openly. Comments can be hurtful, offensive, or just plain rude. There will always be people who you like more than other people and some of those feelings may not be mutual.

Whether it’s because you are too good or maybe you just rub that person the wrong way, it doesn’t matter. I am giving you the permission to do everything in your power to stop whoever is making your life miserable online. At the end of the day, you are responsible for what kind of space you want to create on the internet. You also have the ability to block anyone who is not respecting your boundaries, even if they refuse to listen to your request for them to stop. Remember, YOU are in control!

On WordPress, I have encountered a few trolls and rude bloggers, but my overall experience on this platform has been mostly positive. Have you ever had to block someone on WordPress? I am curious to know what your experiences were on this platform. Feel free to let me know by joining the conversation and leaving a comment below. I know I haven’t been great at replying lately but I plan on catching up with comments later this week. Thank you for continuing to read my blog posts.

Thanks for stopping by!


20 thoughts on “Don’t Feed The Bears

  1. Happy Panda says:

    Someone explicitly wrote spiteful things in their bog post? That’s crazy! I really don’t get where people get the time and energy to be mean to people online.
    I’ve only had one bad experience on WP where someone did a whole post about a post I did on sustainability – to say that I am making no impact by doing what I am doing. 😒 I unfollowed them.
    Where do people get the energy to do this stuff?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Not only that, but she banded together with some other bloggers and they all sort of “shadowbanned” me on WordPress. Whenever I tried to leave a comment on her blog or their blogs, it would go to their spam folders. It took me months to realize this until I read that one blog post of hers which explained everything. It made me sick to my stomach when it finally clicked.

      What was worse than her blog post were the rude comments that her readers left. They had no idea who that blog post was directed at, but the comments were incredibly hurtful. Because of that, I ended up blocking her. I didn’t know what else to do at that point, and eventually you just end up exhausting your options. I am sorry that you had a similar experience on WP.


    • Hilary Tan says:

      I delete these comments too, unless the person disagrees with grace. I’m always up for a debate, but one that’s done in a civilized manner. I do not tolerate disrespectful people either.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pooja G says:

    I have encountered some trolls on WP but it never escalated to the extent yours did. I think wishing someone bad things on your blog is really crossing the line. I have however encountered some nasty trolls on social media. The best way to deal with them is just blocking them. Honestly, there is no point wasting your energy on people that don’t deserve it.
    I have blocked multiple people on WP, some because they were trolls and some because they were creepy. Some I have blocked because the content on their blog was triggering for me and I didn’t want to see it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      This blogger was passive aggressive in every sense of the word. She did not use my name or this blog (thank goodness) but the entire post was directed towards me. I could sense heat waves of hate radiating from her. Thus, I blocked her on all social media platforms. Spent way too much time wondering what it was that I did to make her so angry, other than re-follow her account. I guess that was enough to set her off, but yikes. 🙈

      People should be free to unfollow and re-follow an account as they please. This brings me back to wishing that a mute button existed on WordPress. I would love to mute certain people without feeling the need to unfollow them.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Pooja G says:

        Wow that is such an incredibly intense reaction to something so silly. People really need to get some help if that’s how you react to someone unfollowing you. Glad you blocked her because it sounds like more of a her problem rather than a you problem.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Right? You’d think that WP is a friendly community full of friendly bloggers, but apparently such a thing does not exist. Most of my encounters on WP have been positive.


  3. Vanessa 🤟🏼 The Wellbeing Blogger (@TheWblogger) says:

    I was so needing to read t-h-i-s today! This was my favorite post this week. I had a less positive interaction on Twitter today which wasn’t supposed to affect me but it got me thinking on all the hate that is around now. I don’t understand why someone would wish you bad karma on their blog but I know there are people who do that and sometimes if we are not aware that this says more about them than us we may get trapped and have our mental health spiraling downwards. So well done you for standing up for yourself and for reminding us of how we can deal with these situations better. I truly loved reading your reflection ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Thank you, Vanessa! I also appreciate that you took the time to comment over on Medium so thank you for supporting me over there as well. I felt like this article/blog post needed to be cross-posted and that people should see it on WP as well. I am sorry that you had a negative interaction on Twitter yesterday…. I cannot fathom why anyone would be hostile towards you on Twitter. Seriously, some people. 🙄

      You are absolutely right. Chances are, this person is really unhappy with her own life and takes her negativity out on other people. If we carry around anger and negativity, we’re more likely going to take it out on the people around us. I find that writing helps me process negative emotions.


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