Tag: comparison

Choosing a Simple Life in a Loud World

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Hey everyone! You might be wondering where I’ve been lately, and I actually have a good excuse this time for being away for so long. For the last few months, major storage issues completely broke my iPhone 14, locking me out of WordPress the 90% of the time. Apparently, 128GB is not enough for me anymore! Any time I wanted to check in or write a post, I had to haul out my laptop, which isn’t convenient or enjoyable to use. The keyboard sucks, the screen is too small, and it makes me want to rage quit by the time I actually log in to write a rough draft. Talk about frustrating! Luckily, my iPhone is finally working again for the most part, and I can get back to sharing my humble opinions with you all. Let’s get started, shall we?

Social media is a double-edged sword, and we all know it. On one hand, it connects us; on the other, it feeds our deepest insecurities. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on a particularly frustrating downside of our hyper-connected world: the toxic idea that living a simple, ordinary life is somehow seen as a failure.

It makes me stop and think: Since when did a peaceful, slow life become a badge of shame?

Interestingly, many content creators who live chronically online and do this for a living are actually quite well-off. If they wanted to, they could easily fund a chaotic life of luxury travel and flashy activities. Yet, many are consciously choosing the ordinary. They are prioritizing quality time with their children, families, and close friends. They are nurturing personal hobbies and fiercely protecting their mental peace. And I don’t blame them.

This begs the question: Why on earth isn’t that considered enough anymore?

✨ Image is my own. Morning light spills through the quiet hallway.

The Toxic Comparison Game

Somewhere along the line, mainstream influencer culture shifted our perspective. We’ve been subtly manipulated into thinking that we constantly need to perform, consume, and impress others we don’t even know. This is truly the final boss of “keeping up with the Joneses.” We are told our homes must look pristine, our outfits must never be repeated, and our lives must be a non-stop highlight reel of expensive dinners, luxury cars, travel reels, and the latest gadgets. Anything less is labeled as “lame” or “basic.”

I understand the psychology behind it. As human beings, we inherently crave acceptance and connection. It is completely natural to want approval. Decades ago, however, the circle of people we subconsciously tried to impress was tiny, consisting just of our immediate family, a few coworkers, and our neighbors.

In modern society, the stakes are different. Social media forces us to compete with the entire world, actively comparing our messy, real lives with the highly curated, filtered illusions of professional influencers. It is an exhausting game played against your own ego, and it is an illusion you can never win. It’s exactly like staring at that little Google dinosaur when the Wi-Fi goes down, you are endlessly running and jumping over obstacles, desperately searching for a connection that just isn’t there.

Escaping Digital Fatigue

I am certainly not pointing fingers from a place of being “holier than thou.” Trust me, I still get sucked into these exact same toxic comparison loops. Sometimes, I catch myself doomscrolling at 2:00 AM, feeling a sudden ache of inadequacy because some influencer on my screen is achieving grander things and seemingly has their entire life completely figured out while I’m awake in the dark questioning my life choices.

I worry that if I share glimpses of my quiet nature walks or my introverted, low-maintenance lifestyle, people will judge it as boring. And truth be told, to a hyper-stimulated world, it probably looks boring. No yacht, no flashing lights, just me and a tree….or something like that.

I constantly have to remind myself that comparison is the thief of joy and a complete waste of time. It creates a loud, messy inner battle where my wiser self has to gently ground my ego. Fortunately, I’m getting much better at going AFK, and as you can tell by my radio silence, I’ve gotten pretty good at abandoning my blog too! 🤦‍♀️

Finding Joy in Slow Living

The truth is, I’ve come to appreciate my “boring” life. I’ve realized that the little, simple things are exactly what make me the happiest.

Here are a few of my favorite daily rituals that bring inner peace:

1️⃣ Taking a slow walk outdoors. Getting outside and breathing fresh air does wonders to calm a loud, cluttered mind.
2️⃣ Sipping a fresh cup of hot tea. There is something incredibly soothing about holding a warm mug and just watching the steam rise.
3️⃣ Cuddling on the couch with my cat, Timon. Animals have a beautiful way of grounding us in the present moment. Timon doesn’t care about social media status, and honestly, neither should I.

✨ Image is my own. Just me in my pajamas with my cat, chilling on the couch.
✨ Image is my own. Enjoying a mug of hot fruit tea on a cold, miserable day.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS

It’s ironic that we now have to explicitly normalize what used to just be everyday life, but finding peace in the ordinary is proof that a simple life is more than enough. True happiness isn’t found in luxury vacations, collections (don’t even get me started on over-consumption) or viral posts. Instead, genuine contentment is waiting right here in the quiet moments, and realizing that I don’t need to impress strangers on the internet or people IRL for that matter.

♡ What about you? Do you find yourself caught in the social media comparison trap, or have you found joy in your own “boring” daily routines? Feel free to join the conversation by leaving a comment below ↓ I’ll do my best to reply to your comments within the next 24 hours.

♡ Enjoyed this post? Please consider supporting my writing to help me keep this blog alive. Your support means the world to me!

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

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Social Comparison on Social Media

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If someone told me 10 years ago that I would be married by now with a child, I would have laughed at them and thought they were insane. I never imagined myself to be where I am now but despite my highlight reel, I do not make a point to brag about it on Facebook and other forms of social media. I am one who despises when other people brag about how great their lives are and it would be hypocritical of me to do the same.

That’s great your career is going well and you just bought a house with your boyfriend. That’s great you just got a promotion. That’s great you had a wedding that I wasn’t invited to. That’s great you have a lovely family and a million siblings – I wonder what that’s like! That’s great you post a gazillion photos of your amazing life every day. That’s great you are pregnant and a couple years from now you’ll be pregnant again. Since I cannot get away from these announcements, I cut myself off of social media. Please tell me in person so I’ll actually care in a genuine way. The last place I want to find out is on Facebook, where I feel pressured to conform and congratulate you in the most shallow way possible.

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“Being different isn’t a bad thing. It just means that you are brave enough to be yourself.” -unknown

Now, I know that we all have problems but we seldom hear about the bad things in life. I much rather hear about someone’s struggles than see a constant highlight reel of someone’s life. My parents have instilled in me to only post the good things because otherwise, people would know me on a deeper level. Go figure! Isn’t that the point? To connect with people on a meaningful level? Let’s face it, shallow isn’t a meaningful level. If I cannot post freely, then I rather not post at all. I hope that my family doesn’t find this blog because the moment they do I will be getting an earful of lectures. Once my mother found my Instagram I stopped posting because of her criticisms. My parents find ways to creep my Facebook so I stopped posting there as well. My second “private” account is not so private if my real name is searched. Now, how did that happen?? I honestly question the Facebook privacy settings.

My husband strongly discourages social comparison but he doesn’t understand it the same way I do. He didn’t struggle with life the same way I did and he doesn’t suffer from depression, anxiety, loneliness, and isolation. For me, social media brings out feelings of jealousy so I am better off being ignorant to the newsfeed. He says that I attract certain people and in a way he is right. I seem to resonate better with unhappy people in general: the high school drop-outs, low-class people from dysfunctional families, unhealthy people with medical conditions, pessimistic people who see the glass half empty etc. In a way, I want to help them, and perhaps I feel sorry for them. It’s hard for me to resonate with people who are exactly like me.

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Husband with our sweet baby girl.

These people, in contrast, trigger my anxiety and depression. I am not only comparing myself to successful people but when my life is at a standstill I am even more prone to self-loathing. I have a strong, innate desire to be successful and exceed people’s expectations and with that comes dissatisfaction and feelings of unworthiness.

From a distance, someone may think that I have a good life, and maybe I do but its hard for me to see it. I cannot understand why ANYONE would be jealous of me. I have A LOT of struggles but they hardly see this side of me. I occasionally use a private forum on my phone for well-being, logging and calendar charting. I like the anonymity of the social feature but it also saddens me since I will never truly get to know these ladies beyond a phone screen. The relationships are shallow and just as quickly as we became forum friends, one can easily hit the “unfollow” button which I am equally guilty of doing. It’s not that I have anything against these ladies (unless they are rude and end up on the blocked list). However, if you fill my home page with bragger-y, TMI posts, pregnancy announcements, big accomplishments that crave praise etc. I need to protect my sanity (aka. my inner child, the identity I actually resonate with). I hope you understand that my well-being is a delicate vessel that needs nurturing which only I can nurture. My inner child does not receive proper nourishment from validation, likes and praise on social media and yours shouldn’t either. That would be similar to feeding my inner child candy bars, chips, and soda. I need REAL nourishment and that satiation can only come from within.