Tag: anxiety

A Bad Day Made Worse

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Have you ever had a tough day when everything seems to go wrong? It can feel overwhelming, like a dark cloud hanging over you. Little annoyances, like spilling coffee or missing the bus, combined with bigger issues like work stress, can lead to frustration and despair. It’s easy to forget the good moments, but it’s important to remember that even in chaos, there is hope for better days ahead. Here’s how I’ve been coping, or at least trying to cope with stress.

A Stressful Monday Morning

Monday morning started with a sharp, annoying pain in my back. You know, the kind that happens when you know you slept funny, so your body punishes you the next day. My back felt all twisted like a pretzel, and I found myself hobbling down the stairs like an old lady with a bad back. It’s crazy how much we take a good spine for granted until it decides to quit on us. Most of the day was spent with excruciating back pain. Luckily, I felt much better by Tuesday evening.

Part of my daily survival ritual involves spending some time in nature, by walking to the nearest park or Tim Hortons down the street. I don’t buy steeped tea every day, but I still try to make it a habit to go outside. Despite my back pain, I desperately need that steaming cup of caffeine to clear the chaotic mental chatter in my head.

(っ◔__◔)っ ♥ P.S. Let’s ignore the fact that I recently ranted about the ridiculous inflation and the annoyances I have with Tim’s. Let’s just ignore all of that because karma got me good. 🙄

I was already halfway there when my husband broke the news to me. He mentioned that my go-to spot was closed, but I didn’t want to believe it. I pulled up the info online, and my heart sank: “Closed until February 26, 2026.” 

Who even knows if they will actually reopen? There are rumors going around that their contract with 7-Eleven ended, and this uncertainty makes it feel so much worse. Honestly, this feels like a cruel joke from the universe, especially since I just wrote a blog post called Price Shock: Enough is Enough. It’s like the universe read my blog post and said,

“Oh, you think things are tough? Let’s take away the one thing that brought you joy. Sucks to be you.” 💔

Here in Calgary, I live in the type of climate that makes you regret living in Canada. Standing in that parking lot, shivering, annoyed, and caffeine-deprived, I felt like the universe was sending me a very loud message to go back to bed and stay there, wrapped in my warm blankets like a caterpillar in a cocoon, far removed from the harshness of the cold. The biting wind seemed to mock my every attempt to stay warm as I hugged my arms tightly to my chest, wishing for just a little warmth to seep back into my already chilled bones. At this point, I was half-expecting a penguin to waddle past me and offer some pity, sympathy, or nod of acceptance. 🐧

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

A Stressful Monday Afternoon

I could not catch a break on Monday. The “bad” became way “worse” the moment I opened my laptop. As many of you know, I poured my heart into my sticker designs. It was a creative outlet that kept me grounded, even when life felt heavy. My most popular rainbow unicorn “caticorn” cat design was staring back at me on a marketplace that felt oh so familiar, but from a seller I had never seen before.

It was a 3rd party seller based in China. They hadn’t just “borrowed” the idea; they had ripped the high-res file, turned it into a sticker, and sold it for a fraction of the price. Their product photos were remotely similar, with water droplets as their “watermark” (Oh, the audacity!) but still, it was MY digital art design! And I am livid! (｡•̀ ⤙ •́ ｡ꐦ) !!!

ɪ ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛᴇᴍᴜ. ɴᴏᴛ ᴀʟʟ ꜱᴇʟʟᴇʀꜱ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛᴇᴅ. ɪ’ᴍ ᴜᴘꜱᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜱɪɢɴꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴘɪᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ᴍʏ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴅᴇꜱɪɢɴ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ’ᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴀɴʏ ꜱᴀʟᴇꜱ ɪɴ ᴀ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴛɪᴍᴇ.

The most frustrating part? Despite Redbubble offering protection by allowing us to add a watermark, it wasn’t enough to stop the Temu thief from copying the design anyway. The irony is that I often shop on sites like Temu, and you can read my recent blog post here. This feels like the universe’s big “FU” to me for even trying to compete with this conglomerate monster.

Link to MY Shop: 🌸@sereneluna 🌸

Collection of cute stickers featuring cats and animals in various themes, including a smiling octopus, unicorn cat, and seasonal designs like Halloween and Canada Day.
Image Source: My Redbubble shop features a colorful collection of cute cat and animal stickers. There’s 116 designs to choose from! ⭐💫

Do You Believe in Karma?

I believe in karma—the mirror reflection of what you project into the universe often has a way of creeping into your life and throwing that energy right back at you when you least expect it, including the stuff that you don’t want. Not only that, but you can’t steal someone else’s ethereal energy and creativity, no matter how hard you try to copy someone else, because they’ll always be a few steps ahead of you in the game.

The universe has a way of balancing this energy, including the energy we don’t actually want, thus reminding us that authenticity and hard work are the true pathways to lasting success. So, even though the situation feels devastating right now, I hold onto the belief that integrity will prevail in the long run, revealing the true character of these thieves and shady people who try to take shortcuts at the expense of others.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Searching for Mental Clarity & Meaning

When the mental fog gets this thick and the physical pain becomes so loud that you can’t ignore it, I find myself craving a total “hard reset” for my brain. These days, I often feel the need to disengage from the external world and instead, turn inward on myself. I did a “hard reset” just last week, but it doesn’t seem to have been enough to carry me through this latest avalanche of deregulation, so I think I need to go back to that magical place again. I’m feeling tempted to revisit that deep, earthy, ethereal experience—the kind that lets the brain’s default mode network take a backseat so I can view life from a new, fresh perspective through a world of dreamlike wonder.

Image: A vibrant, fantasy landscape, evoking a sense of wonder and escape into nature. 🍄🌿✌️💕
Image: A serene landscape with Nikki on a swing overlooking a tranquil lake during sunset, capturing a moment of peaceful solitude amidst the chaos of life.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS

Often, it’s easier to be hard on ourselves, so we end up attracting even more unwanted things into our lives, whether we’re conscious of it or not. But if I’ve learned anything from blogging, it’s that we have to find a way to take back our own narrative. We have to be the ones to decide when the bad day, week, month, etc., stops being bad. I’m ready for the light to shine again. I’m ready to start showing up as the best version of myself, whatever that newer, weirder version of me happens to be. 🌿

♡ What about you? Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to go right? How do you handle it? Feel free to join the conversation below ↓ and I’ll do my best to reply to your comments within the next 24 hours.

♡ Enjoyed this post? Please consider donating to help me improve this site. I’ll send you a personal thank-you message to the email you used to send the coffee donation❣️

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

Steady Minds, Everyday Lives: Practical Anxiety Support for People in Canada

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Background: Hey everyone! I hope you all had an awesome Christmas if you celebrate it like my family does, and here’s to a Happy New Year! My friend Davis shared a new blog post on www.sereneluna.net, and he’s been super patient waiting for me to get this up. You might remember his earlier guest posts. Below ↓ I’ve linked all of his past stuff for you to check out easily. If you’re curious or just wanna refresh your memory on his thoughts about personal growth and development, you can find them here:

1️⃣ 6 Strategies to Boost Your Confidence (July 2022)
2️⃣ Having a Midlife Crisis? Here are 5 Changes You Can Make to Overcome It (September 2022)
3️⃣ 10 Self-Improvement Habits to Make You Happier (October 2022)
4️⃣ Unmasking Your True Potential to Overcome Imposter Syndrome (July 2024)
5️⃣ The Offbeat Path to Peace: Unconventional Ways to Tend to Your Mental Health (April 2025) 

Disclaimer: Davis runs a blog called https://businessisfun.net that I highly recommend you check out and follow if you haven’t done so already. I should make an archive for him (I’m half-joking, but seriously, his list of guest posts is impressive!) Since Davis wrote the following guest post, I cannot take credit for it. While you are here, I would love to hear your thoughts about this article. Let’s get started, shall we?

Image via Pexels

Anxiety in Canada shows up everywhere — on the bus in Toronto, in a classroom in Calgary, in a kitchen in Halifax at 2 a.m. when your thoughts won’t shut off. It’s common, it’s treatable, and it doesn’t care whether you’re a student, parent, newcomer, or getting ready to retire. You don’t have to “tough it out” alone, and you don’t need a perfect wellness routine to feel better.

Key things to know in one glance

Anxiety is a normal stress response that becomes a problem when it’s intense, constant, or starts interfering with daily life. You can learn skills to calm your body, work with your thoughts, and ask for help sooner rather than later.

Common anxiety supports and when they help

Approach What it is in plain language When it tends to help most
Deep breathing & grounding exercisesSimple techniques to steady your body and focus on the presentDuring sudden waves of panic, before sleep, or in tense moments
Cognitive behavioural strategiesNoticing and questioning anxious thoughtsWhen your brain is stuck in worst-case scenarios
Physical activity & sleep habitsMoving regularly and keeping a consistent sleep routineWhen stress feels “wired and tired” all the time
Peer or family supportTalking to trusted people in your lifeWhen you feel alone, ashamed, or “too much” for others
Self-help toolsGuides, apps, and worksheets you use at your own paceWhen you want structure but not formal therapy yet
Professional treatmentSupport from a therapist, doctor, or mental health nurseWhen anxiety impacts work, school, parenting, or health

How Anxiety Shows Up for the Average Canadian

👉Here’s a quick, non-judgy look at how anxiety shows up:

  • Racing thoughts about money, family, or world events
  • Tight chest, “buzzing” body, or upset stomach with no clear medical cause
  • Avoiding emails, phone calls, or potential networking events because they feel overwhelming
  • Checking things repeatedly (locks, messages, work) for fear of missing something
  • Trouble falling asleep because your brain is replaying the entire day

Note: If you see yourself in that list, it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your nervous system is working overtime and needs support, not criticism.

When work and career worries drive your anxiety

For many people in Canada, worry ramps up around job security, career changes, or feeling stuck in a role that doesn’t fit. Turning that foggy fear into a concrete learning or training plan can bring a surprising sense of relief and control. Choosing a clear path to build new skills, switch industries, or qualify for different roles gives your mind something structured and hopeful to focus on.

If you’re drawn to technology or digital work, exploring a computer science degree online can be one way to transform “I’m behind” into “I’m building something.” For example, if you dream of a tech career, by working toward an online degree in computer science, you can build your skills in AI along with IT, programming, and computer science theory. Online degree programs make it easier to keep working while you study, so you can protect your income while moving toward a different future.

This kind of intentional learning doesn’t remove every anxious thought, but it does change the story: you’re no longer just worrying about your career — you’re actively shaping it.

Questions Canadians often ask about anxiety

  1. “Is what I’m feeling serious enough to count as anxiety?”

    If your worries feel hard to control, stick around most days, and are affecting your sleep, relationships, school, or work, it’s worth treating them as more than “just stress.” Anxiety problems are common and respond well to support and treatment.

  2. “Can self-help tools really make a difference?”

    Yes, especially when you use them consistently and combine them with other supports. Resources like worksheets, meditation apps, and online guides can teach you skills used in therapy, such as challenging anxious thoughts and gradually facing fears.

  3. “When should I talk to my doctor or a mental health professional?”

    Good times to reach out include: when anxiety has lasted for weeks or months, when you’re avoiding important parts of life because of fear, or when your coping habits (like alcohol, cannabis, or endless scrolling) are starting to cause problems of their own. A family doctor, nurse practitioner, or community clinic can help you explore options and referrals in your province.

  4. “What if I’m in crisis right now?”

    If you’re thinking about suicide or feel you can’t stay safe, you can call or text 9-8-8 anywhere in Canada, any time of day or night. You can also find crisis contacts through organizations like the Canadian Mental Health Association, which lists national and provincial help lines.

A small self-scan for tough days

👉You can use this quick check-in once a day or once a week:

☐ I did something (however small) to move my body today.
☐ I ate at least one meal that wasn’t just caffeine and snacks.
☐ I spent a few minutes away from my phone or laptop.
☐ I acknowledged how I was feeling instead of pretending I was “fine.”
☐ I connected with at least one person or community — in person, online, or by phone.
☐ I know who I’d reach out to if my anxiety suddenly got much worse.

Note: Even one or two checkmarks is a sign you’re actively caring for your mental health.

A Canadian resource worth bookmarking

If you’d like structured, evidence-based guidance you can use on your own schedule, Anxiety Canada offers free information, self-help plans, and tools designed specifically for children, youth, and adults across the country. Their website includes a “My Anxiety Plan,” downloadable guides, and links to the MindShift CBT app, which teaches coping skills based on cognitive behavioural therapy.

Bringing it all together

Anxiety may be loud, but it isn’t the final word on who you are or what your life in Canada can look like. Small, repeatable actions — breathing, moving, connecting, learning, asking for help — slowly train your nervous system to feel safer. Over time, you build resilience: the ability to bend without breaking when life is hard. And if today feels especially heavy, remember you don’t have to carry it alone; support is closer and more available than it often seems.

🍁AI generated image: Finding practical anxiety support and inner peace in Canada.🍁

I really appreciate that Davis curated this blog post for Canadians! Growing up here and moving between provinces three times, I’ve seen how some places can be colder or more expensive, but no matter where you are, each place has its own quirks—especially when it comes to dealing with anxiety and everyday stress. The truth is, anxiety affects all of us, no matter where we live. It’s great to have resources like Anxiety Canada and the Canadian Mental Health Association to help us navigate our system. A huge shoutout to Davis for reminding us that we’ve got the tools to bounce back right here at home!

If you’ve enjoyed this article and would like to read more posts from this blogger, you can visit their website at https://businessisfun.net. Finally, if you learned something new from this blog post, feel free to join the conversation by leaving a comment below ↓ Interested in writing a guest post for www.sereneluna.net? If you would like to write a guest post, please email me your idea by filling out this form.

Thanks for stopping by!

When Everything Goes Wrong

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Have you ever experienced those days when it feels like the world is against you, and everything, from the smallest details to the biggest challenges, seems to be going wrong? It can be incredibly demotivating when nothing seems to be going your way.

Drowning in a Sea of Sadness

Why is this happening to me? Who knows! 😖 And please don’t tell me that this is happening for me instead of to me; that is a bunch of BS created by self-help gurus to reframe the situation. No amount of self-help is helping me right now, which is worth mentioning because I listen to a lot of self-help guru advice. But I digress.

I could have also been been influenced by the news, something I read online, or a combination of various factors that are completely out of my control, all of which are highly likely. Either way, I’m struggling with depression and anxiety this week.

Image source: https://www.deviantart.com/

A Stressful Weekend

It all began last Friday when I went to work. The following days, Friday through Sunday, were incredibly busy, leaving me with no time to eat during the few breaks I had. By Sunday, my nerves were on edge and I desperately needed a steeped tea. However, my husband informed me that the line was too long, and I would have to go without it.

Over the weekend, my plastic Nalgene water bottle completely shattered into pieces. Can you believe it? I’m just as puzzled as you are. How does a plastic water bottle smash like that? RIP Nalgene water bottle ☠️

A Stressful Monday

Due to a stressful weekend, I ended up with a migraine on Monday. As a result, I wasn’t able to do piano practice with Rebecca, and I also forgot my swipe card by the time I arrived to the YMCA. Despite having my gym bag with me, I couldn’t sign in. Eventually, the kind lady at the front desk allowed me to enter, but it was a waste of valuable time and I felt rushed. Moreover, I didn’t get to enjoy a cup of steeped tea that day either.

When I feel stressed out, I like to create digital vector designs which I then turn into stickers and other merch for #Redbubble. On Monday night, I uploaded a seemingly innocent design, only to have it temporarily suspended, which kept me up all night. Karalee, who runs a blog called Tales of Belle, pointed out that there were similarities between my design and LOL Surprise Cats, specifically the one called Royal Kitty. This connection might be the reason why my design was flagged for review.

A Stressful Tuesday

On Tuesday morning, Redbubble unsuspended my Kawaii Royal Kitty, but the whole ordeal was still nerve-wracking, to say the least. Unfortunately, due to my chronic insomnia, I ended up sleeping in late again. However, yesterday I made it my mission to treat myself to a steeped tea and take Aaron out for a stroll. But to add to my frustration, the zipper on my jacket got jammed, and I ended up looking like a fool wearing this jacket with an uneven, stuck zipper. You know what I’m talking about, right?

Photo by Danik Prihodko. Link: https://www.pexels.com/photo/

This Week Continues to be Crap-tastic 🧻💩🦄

The rest of the week hasn’t gotten much better. On Wednesday evening, something unfortunate happened – I consumed an almost lethal amount of erythritol. Who puts erythritol in their beverages? It’s a bad idea, guys. I didn’t realize there was erythritol in it when I purchased it.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with yet another migraine. In an attempt to alleviate my discomfort, I decided to pour myself a glass of freshly squeezed juice. As I went to pour myself a glass, beet juice splattered all over my kitchen, resembling a crime scene. The kitchen island, baseboards, and floor were covered in beet-stained splats, creating a truly dreadful sight. Cleaning up the mess was even more dreadful. ಠ෴ಠ

Which brings us to Friday. Well, it’s Friday, so only time will tell what challenges I’ll be dealing with today. Unfortunately, my toddler is sick, so he will be staying home. On top of that, I have a 6-hour online seminar scheduled for today, and I haven’t quite figured out how I’ll be able to take care of him while fully participating in the seminar. However, I am confident that I will find a solution because there is always a way.

Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to go right? How do you handle it? Feel free to join the conversation below ↓ and I’ll do my best to reply to your comments within the next 24 hours.

(っ◔◡◔)っ FYI: If you’re not already following me on Twitter/𝕏 (@serene_hilz), you can get real-time updates about my day-to-day life there.

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

Find Peace in the Madness

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Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant chatter in your mind? Discover the transformative power of meditation. By stilling the internal chaos, meditation guides you towards serenity and inner peace. View meditation as a valuable practice to nurture a peaceful mind. It offers relief from concerns about hypothetical future challenges and enables you to concentrate on what truly counts in the present. By practicing meditation, one can find tranquility and perspective amidst life’s demanding chaos.

It’s a fascinating fact: breathing slowly through your nose, rather than just your mouth, can actually help alleviate stress. Give it a try and experience the relaxation it brings.

Photo by Ivan Samkov: https://www.pexels.com/photo/

3 Steps to Inner Peace

1️⃣ Breathe Deeply

  • Inhale deeply for five seconds, inflating your stomach like a balloon, then exhale for twice as long. Focusing on your breathing helps tune out distractions and slows your heart rate, so you produce less of the stress hormone adrenaline.
  • Continue as you follow steps 2 and 3.

2️⃣ Visualize Peace

  • Close your eyes and think of a place that makes you feel happy and calm.
  • Envision as many details as possible – the sights, the sounds. The positive associations you have with this place will help lower both your blood pressure and your levels of cortisol, another stress hormone.

3️⃣ Pick a Mantra

  • Continue doing steps 1 and 2.
  • Silently repeat a calming statement. Try “I am peaceful” or “I will succeed.” While your conscious mind is focused on breathing and visualizations, your subconscious is absorbing this mantra. Soon, you’ll begin to actually believe it.
A meditating Patrick Star

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ If you found this blog post enjoyable, then I strongly recommend exploring my other posts that focus on techniques for reducing anxiety. You can find a collection of my most popular blog posts by visiting the link below ↓ Your journey towards a calmer and more peaceful state awaits.

Managing Your Anxiety

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

great-vibes.regular (1)

So What!

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Disclaimer: I did not write this on my own. This blog post is composed of excerpts from an old Seventeen magazine. Over the summer, I spent a few weeks at my parents’ house where I ended up dedicating a significant amount of time to reading and recycling my old magazines. Before recycling the magazines, I saved a few pages that I wanted to share with all of you.

The blog post is titled “So What!” is actually from Seventeen Journal. I felt moved by it because I realized that my own physical and mental clutter (ahem, pages I ripped out from old magazines) is actually hindering my decluttering efforts. How ironic! I am unable to provide a proper citation for this article as I do not have the information regarding which Seventeen magazine it came from, the article number, or the year.

Let’s get started, shall we?

So What!

You have big dreams, and you want to achieve them now. But what you might not realize is that sometimes what’s holding you back isn’t coming form the outside (your friends, your family, school)—but from you! When you let go of all the negative stuff—regrets, times you felt embarrassed, anything that’s killing your confidence—it’s like taking all the obstacles out of your way. So use this space to get it all out, and give yourself permission to say, “So what!” and move on!

  1. I’ve been beating myself up about….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!
  2. I feel ashamed that….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!
  3. I can’t stop cringing about….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!
  4. I’ve been holding in the fact that….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!
  5. I felt like I effed this up….. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ …..but so what!

“I know it’s easier said than done, but acceptance starts with looking at yourself in the mirror and just saying, Okay, I don’t have muscles on top of muscles. Fine! All right. I don’t have long, flowing blonde hair. Cool. Once you learn to be cool with who you are, you won’t care what anyone else thinks.”

 — Ne-Yo
Source: https://www.europosters.eu/marketplace/

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥

This journaling exercise is applicable not only to teenagers but also to adults. Even as an adult, I still face similar challenges to those I experienced as a teenager, but I handle them differently now that I am older and wiser. I am curious to know if you journal. Personally, I don’t, but I can understand why it would be helpful for gaining insight. Feel free to join the conversation below ↓ and I will do my best to reply to the comments within the next 48 hours.

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

Things that Make Me Happy

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I recently published a blog post about the Things that make me unhappy and it seemed to have resonated with a lot of readers. If you haven’t read it yet, here is the quick link to that blog post so you can catch up:

♡ Related Blog Post: Things that Make Me Unhappy

Naturally, it made sense to make another list, but this time focus on the Things that make me happy. Such an original title, I know! 😅 Anyway, here is my list of 11 things that make me happy. Please keep in mind that this list is not presented in any particular order. Each list is unique to the individual, so my list will likely differ from your list. Let’s get started, shall we?

A List of Things that Make Me Happy

1. My cat, Timon. Timon is an absolute blessing in my life. We adopted him in Spring 2019, when I was really depressed and feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. Even now, when I’m anxious, the warm cuddles from my cat bring me immense comfort and joy 🐈‍⬛💕

2. My family. Apart from my immediate family which includes my children and husband, my parents who live across the country are also a key part of my family. Despite our past issues, we try to stay connected through phone calls and have found that it is much easier to get along when we aren’t living together.

3. Steeped tea & MCDs coffee. I’m a huge fan of Tim Hortons steeped tea and McDonalds coffee. Even though I can make the coffee from home, nothing beats the joy of buying it. Steeped tea is something that I simply can’t replicate and will go out of my way to get, even though these feelings of happiness are fleeting.

4. Bubble tea. I think I enjoy bubble tea more than the average person, even though the pleasure is only temporary. Unfortunately, I can’t afford it on a regular basis, so it has become something of a guilty pleasure! Although I can make it at home, I still prefer to buy it at a tea shop. It’s more fun that way!

5. Bubble baths. I absolutely love taking hot, bubble baths to warm up on cold days where I live. They give me a much-needed break from the chill and serve as an escape for some relaxation and self-care. Not only that, but it also helps to reduce stress levels and soothe my mind.

6. Walks in nature. On a beautiful day, I will take a pleasant stroll outside. 🌞 Walks outside are far more enjoyable than walking on the treadmill. I try to limit my indoor time to three days or less, as feeling trapped indoors for extended periods of time can be mentally exhausting. The longest period of time that I stayed indoors without going outside was a depressing 3 weeks – something that I never want to experience again!

7. Saving money. I tend to prioritize saving my money rather than spending it because the feeling of having a substantial amount of money in my bank account is much more satisfying than the fleeting pleasure of buying something. Moreover, I enjoy living a debt-free life as I have worked hard to get to this point and would like to maintain it.

8. My iPhone. Despite my struggles with smart phone addiction, which I previously mentioned in [this post], I am incredibly thankful for my iPhone SE. While it may not be the newest model on the market, it still works and brings me immense joy every day. My iPhone allows me to stay connected with people all over the world! 🌎

9. My blog. I am eternally grateful for having my blog and access to the awesome WP community, as it has allowed me to build strong connections with people who share similar interests and passions. I’m filled with joy to respond to comments and connect with my friends on this platform. Every single one of you leave such beautiful and kind comments, which I always look forward to reading each day.

10. Podcasts. If you see me with airpods in my ears, it’s almost certain that I’m listening to an educational or self-development podcast. Podcasts are my go-to source of entertainment and I often find myself learning something new. Occasionally, I’ll listen to some music, but almost exclusively instrumental pieces; lyrics tend to distract me too much.

11. Animal Crossing. Animal Crossing: New Horizons (ACNH) has been a source of great fun to me. Even though there’s other games to play on the Nintendo Switch, I still find myself playing ACNH often. Animal Crossing has provided me the opportunity to step away from my depression and concentrate on building something beautiful.

Screenshots are my own → I am always improving my 5-star Island!🏝️🍒

(っ◔V◔)っ Please Note: Unfortunately, I cannot give players a tour of my Animal Crossing Island without renewing the online subscription first, which is a scam in my humble opinion. I am not paying for it this year! 🙇‍♀️

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥

As you can see, there are 11 items on my list again which was intentional btw. I wanted to ensure the negative list and positive list were evenly balanced. And like I said last time, if I sat down for an hour to really reflect and journal about it, the list would be much longer. Overall, I think that it’s important to take time out of your busy day to think about the things that bring you joy and to practice gratitude. I highly encourage you to create your own list of the things that make you happy.

Thanks for stopping by! ❤️

Will You Come to My Party?

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Disclaimer: Rebecca’s birthday was on October 27th, but her birthday party was on November 10th (it was my husband’s idea). Because Rebecca’s birthday party has already passed, I’m going to write this blog post in the past tense. If you spot any mistakes please let me know and I’ll make corrections. The same article can be found on Medium but is behind a paywall. If you are still interested in checking it out, then you can do so by clicking on the following link:

♡ Medium Article: Will You Come to My Party?

𝕎𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕟𝕧𝕚𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤, 𝕤𝕠 𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕨𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕚𝕥.

My daughter recently turned 6 years old, and after much thought, my husband and I decided to host her birthday party at an indoor playground this year. Indoor playgrounds are the perfect place for children because they offer fun equipment like monkey bars, climbing walls, and other features that children love!

Indoor Playground for Kids. Image source: https://www.familyfuncanada.com/

My daughter was excited about her upcoming birthday party which is totally understandable. Throwing a party is an important part of childhood and it can create memories that last a lifetime. I wanted to give my daughter the same upbringing that I had as a kid, but unfortunately, our house is too small for large gatherings and I didn’t want the kids to be running around or messing with things. So, an indoor playground it was!

My husband had a good idea when he suggested that we invite my daughter’s classmates to the party. Sometimes, you just need to go big or go home! 😂

I spent all Monday evening working on my daughter’s invitations and it felt like a school project all over again. Fiddling with every last detail, and even ripping envelopes that I messed up not once, but three times, I was exhausted. When I saw the finished product, however, I knew all of the hard work was worth it.

Invitations for Becca’s birthday party. The photo is my own.

Despite all of my work, I spelled Abby’s name wrong and my daughter made a big fuss about it. Meanwhile, she didn’t know how to spell Abby’s name either so I had to guess.

Becca: Abbey’s name is spelled with an eeeeeeeeee!!!

And now I know. I won’t make that mistake again.

Party Anxiety

In many ways, hosting a birthday party sounds like a dream come true for any kid; however, there is plenty of anxiety that goes into planning them. If you’ve ever hosted a kids’ party before, then you know exactly what I mean.

For some people, RSVPs can be a major source of anxiety when hosting an event. As a rule, invitations should go out as soon as possible after being personalized for guests. Since we were still in the early stages with our RSVPs and waiting to hear back is never fun, it would have been much easier to get everything in order if we knew how many kids were coming.

Then we played the waiting game.

Only 2 kids RSVPd on time, which heightened my anxiety even more. I kept telling myself, This is okay. Everything is going to be okay.

It is always helpful to include an RSVP by [date] on your invitation, as it gives guests more time to plan before the party. I got excited every time I got a call from an unknown number because I thought it might be a parent telling me their child would be attending my daughter’s birthday party. However, it was mostly spam or work-related calls.

There was something very stressful about waiting to see who would RSVP to her birthday party. Would her party be a success or would it be a total flop? There were too many unknowns, and without experience hosting kids’ parties, all I could do was eat Cheetos and patiently wait. But here’s the thing:

👉 My vocabulary does not have patience in it, because I am an impatient person.

Being a parent can be challenging, and the worst-case scenario would be to have a “teddy bear picnic” for my daughter if nobody RSVPd. I’m sure she would be just as happy with that, but it’s not the same as having a birthday party. My daughter loves her toy cat and drags it with her everywhere, which is the equivalent of a security blanket for children.

Becca playing with her toy cat at the playground. The photo is my own.

With 10 out of 12 kids who RSVPd attending my daughter’s birthday party yesterday, and with 11 total kids in attendance including my daughter, I’m happy to report that I think it was worth it. If my daughter is still into indoor playgrounds when she turns 7 years old, it’s something that we would consider doing again. If anything, we learned that weeknights do not work for most parents, and that weekends are probably best when planning a kid’s birthday party.

I ask the parents on WordPress, have you ever experienced this? Feel free to share your experience in the comments below ↓ I will do my best to reply to your comments as I am working again this weekend.

Party favors for the kiddos. The photo is my own.

Thanks for stopping by! ♥

Breaking Trust…..Again 💔

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Disclaimer: I wrote the rough draft over a week ago as I am still fumbling around with the stupid Block Editor. However, this event does not dismiss the emotional turmoil, exhaustion, and frustration I have regarding what happened last week. Things are still awful and I am as moody as ever, since I am having a hard time coming to terms with things. I am not sure where to go from here or how to remedy the situation. It is hard for me to give you enough context without sharing too much of my private life online.

Sept 7, 2020 @11:55 AM: I am scrolling, scrolling. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I am trying so hard not to cry. No, this cannot be real. This cannot be happening again. We had a promise. A promise of trust so fragile that it shattered yet again. A promise so fleeting that I could feel it escaping through my fingers like sand. I find myself screaming and shaking like someone who is in the midst of a mental breakdown. Then it dawned on me: Maybe I can take the pain away with some painkillers. Tylenol is innocent enough, it wont hurt me… maybe then, my emotional pain will disappear and I won’t have to feel anything. I just want to feel nothing…. 

I wish that I didn’t have to write this depressing post. I wish that yesterday didn’t happen, but it did. I took a more than the recommended dose of Tylenol. My liver may not have been too happy with me but I am fine. I suggest that you try to suppress your pain with medication. It will not take away your emotional pain. To feel any kind of relief, I think I would need to black out which might be accomplished with alcohol. I abstain from alcohol and I don’t take prescription meds, so the strongest thing I have is Tylenol. Once I swallowed 2/3 of a bottle of Advil in one sitting, took a nap, and woke up with an unrelenting headache. I was fine. Nobody found out about it until a few months later, and by then, I was back to my old self, distracted by academia. 

Miku Hatsune, Source: https://weheartit.com/entry/253679447

I can relate if you are reading this post and desperately want to numb your emotional pain too. To an extent, I understand the challenges that people face with mental health challenges, and I get that life is not all sunshine and rainbows. You will probably be hurt several times in your lifetime, and those you are closest to will probably end up hurting you most. I am writing this blog post because it’s incredibly painful for me to process what happened yesterday, and I just want to be understood. If you want to read about a similar experience I had a few months ago, you can read that blog post here.

Reflecting on 2020 so far, 2020 has been a weird year for all of us. I have been working on getting my $hit together since the beginning of the year. Did the pandemic disrupt my plans? Yes and no. Sure, I did not get to travel this summer but that is not why I am upset. Like I said in my earlier post, it is hard to stay positive when I am dealing with $hit that is VERY triggering for me. My mental health is fragile and I need to do everything I can to protect my well-being. Reflecting on my previous post , we know that there needs to be mutual trust between 2 or more people, in order for any relationship or team to thrive. 

What is so difficult about being honest? Why do you refuse to change your ways when you know that your behaviour hurts me? I don’t care if being honest is more painful than covering up the truth with a bunch of lies. What hurts the most is having the nerve to lie to my face without blinking an eyelash. Even when I question your behaviour, you respond with a lie. You are emotionally unavailable and uninvested in what we were working so hard to build. A relationship is built on 3 things: communication, trust, and affection (may be intimate or non-intimate). 

Liar, Liar 🔥

This is what I want to know: Have you ever told a lie, and did it end well for you? Because it did not end well for me. When someone tells a lie, they end up hurting the people around them. Even if they get away with their lie today, it will eventually catch up to them. Some of the best liars are known to be sociopaths and psychopaths because they are constantly forced to cover up their lies and believe their own BS. Also, they are known to have incredible memory recall. Imagine yourself telling a bunch lies and then having to remember those lies today, tomorrow, a month from now, and even years from now. The psychopath or sociopath might get away with it, but the rest of us will eventually caught. The person who hurt me certainly did get caught and I am still PO’d.

Do you believe that it is ever OK to lie to someone, or continue to lie to someone for whatever reason? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below ↓ I really enjoy reading your comments! ❤️

Thanks for stopping by!

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Breaking Trust

66 Comments

1:00 AM: My heart is pounding through my chest and anger rages through my veins like a forest fire. I’m not angry – I’m furious. I feel like the carpet has been pulled out from under my feet by some prankster. Right now, I’m sobbing like a 2-year old who desperately longs for a comforting hug and a popsicle to soothe the pain. In reality, I am an adult and I won’t be eating any popsicles tonight to help me self-soothe the pain away. The pain I feel is emotional and I’m not the type to eat my feelings anyways.

I apologize for wasting your time with another depressing post. If you would prefer to read something more uplifting and positive, feel free to click away. Because this is the internet and everyone can read my blog posts, I cannot openly express who hurt me or share the juicy details with you. That being said, this post isn’t directed towards you or anyone else in the blogging community. I am writing this blog post because it’s incredibly painful for me to fathom what happened last night and I just want to be understood.

As some of you already know, 2019 has been a bad year for me. I try my best to stay positive but it’s difficult when I’m dealing with $hit that is VERY triggering to my mental health and well-being. Tomorrow, I have my first cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) session on campus so I plan to discuss my anxiety and trust issues with the therapist. I have been on a 3-month waiting list so I am grateful that I am finally getting some professional help.

What the hell is happening to the world?

Everyone handles anger differently. My anger accumulates in the pit of my stomach which makes it difficult for me to eat after experiencing hurt or betrayal. My negative emotions feel like a tangled ball of anger, envy, jealousy, and frustration towards everything that’s wrong in my life right now. It is like I am drowning in my own sea of negative emotions and I have lost the ability to breathe.

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This elegant image of Miku Hatsune illustrates depression in an artistic way. Source: https://weheartit.com/entry/253679447

As Sheldon states from The Big Bang Theory, “Everything is changing and it’s simply too much!” After being mislead and lied to by my loved ones this week, I don’t know who I can trust anymore. I have been lied to by friends in the past which seriously sucks, but loved ones… really? Am I destined to be lied to by everyone I encounter in my life? What other secrets have they been keeping from me?

10:00 AM: In my book, lying is NOT okay. From the moment I met you, I made it very clear that lying is unacceptable and that I won’t tolerate it. However, you made the choice to keep me in the dark by making me oblivious and ignorant to the world around me. Like they say, ignorance is bliss…. but is it really bliss? Even though you felt like it was best to protect me during my most vulnerable moments, you still lied to my face and broke the foundation that we worked so hard to build. You probably felt like I was too emotionally unstable to handle the truth, but you also kept me in the dark. Right now, I’m having a hard time trusting anyone including you.

Trust-Quotations-052

Trust is a fragile thing – difficult to build and easy to break.

How does it feel when you realize that you’ve been lied to? Do you believe that it is ever OK to lie to someone? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below ↓ I really enjoy reading your comments! ❤️

Thanks for stopping by!

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Life is Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

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dff7ca3cb3feec55e26b53eab08ad421This week, a wave of depression hit me like the plague. I’ve been dragging my feet since Monday, through slush, snow., anger, and sadness. The sun shone a little today but was mostly overcast. Nonetheless, I am enjoying the longer sunny days now that spring is right around the corner – so that’s something to be grateful for. Today wasn’t a good day since my mood made me completely incapable of concentrating on the task at hand and thus, I left clinical practice early. I cannot afford to miss any more days so this depression needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP. At least I am consciously aware of it and want to do something about the problem.

Here’s what I cannot do: I cannot pretend to be fine when I am not fine. In fact, people can see right through my facade. I know exactly what led to my depression and my neuroses caused me to negatively react, ruminate over the things I lack, and continue to dwell on my own shortcomings. However, even with strong willpower and determination to accept life as is, I don’t think that my depression could have been prevented. Eventually, I would have gotten “the news.”

depression-quote-hp-44-1What saddens me most is that I am not where I want to be in life, and I feel stuck which frustrates me so much. Part of me blames myself for royally screwing up school the first time around, thus forcing me to take not one but two degrees, and therefore, wasting 8-9 years of my life in university. I could have been a nurse by now. I could have been working in NICU by now. I could have had a house by now. I could have left this country by now. I could have been accomplishing better things by now. I could have been ahead by now. It feels like I am living in an illusion that is based solely on schedules, lack of time, coffee, deadlines…..and what for?

In order to deal with my depression, I plan on limiting distractions so that I can focus on school or at least until I finish the semester. There are 33 days left in the semester so during this time, I plan to limit all distractions in order to calm my worried little mind.

Thank you for understanding if I’m AFK.

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Boundaries Matter

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What are boundaries and why does it matter? 
Everyone should have their own set of explicit rules regarding personal boundaries. Personal boundaries include material boundaries, physical boundaries, mental boundaries, emotional boundaries, and even sexual boundaries. Personally, I know people who have a lack of personal boundaries which translates into a lack of respect for themselves. I also know generous people who are easily taken advantage of and are unable to stick up for themselves. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are people who have a very firm understanding of their boundaries and ultimately, respect themselves and their personal rights. In an ideal world, we should all learn how to stick up for ourselves when our boundaries are crossed. We should also learn how to let go of toxic friends who are sucking the energy and joy out of our lives. For the majority of my life, I was easily taken advantage of because I am a people pleaser by default. I was afraid of losing friends if I were to upset them in any way. Being blunt towards a crappy friend is a messy process and it is probably going to hurt you in one way or another. This is all part of growing up and behaving like an adult, and it’s time that we start being adults.

Settling for crappy friends is better than being alone, right?
I let people take advantage of me for years and still have a very hard time standing up for myself. To this day, I don’t like confronting people face to face but have no problems sending a very blunt email or letter. Over the years, however, I learned that being a doormat in order to please others is actually harmful to my psyche. Just like being taken advantage of is a learned behavior, learning to stick up for yourself because you actually respect yourself is also a learned behavior – and a much healthier one!

If something doesn’t feel right, then why do you keep doing it?
After pondering this question for years, I have concluded that if something is causing you pain, then the best thing to do is to walk away. Often times, people do not want to change themselves and you cannot expect them to change for you. You can rip the bandage off now or peel the bandage off slowly, but it has to come off. You need to set yourself free of these toxic people. The initial pain of cutting them out of your life will hurt, but you are doing yourself a huge favor by practicing self-care.

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Image: http://visit-miyajima-japan.com/en/culture-and-heritage/spiritual-heritage-temples-shrines/le-torii-flottant.html

It’s Not Me, It’s YOU!

These people face many problems of their own and likely come from broken pasts. We all have problems and deep psychological issues but the difference between us and them is our level of self-awareness and our ability to take full responsibility for our actions. Usually, these people are initially harmless and probably want someone who will give them the time of day, but the biggest conflict arises when they translate your kindness as some kind of love interest or booty call. This topic is taboo for me, and I do not want to pursue a friendship with anyone who believes that I am sexually available. I am a married woman and I feel that Millenials don’t take marriage as seriously as previous generations. Despite that, what really sickens me is the lack of respect for not only myself but also my marriage. The most frustrating aspect of this type of friendship occurs when [he] continues to seek validation by questioning whether or not I’m still friends with [him]. You should know where you stand with me, and if you can sense that I am annoyed, then you should be aware that you’re being a tool. This type of behavior becomes toxic when the person continues to cling to you like cat hair and continues to seek your approval regarding their thoughts and actions. They may ask you questions like, “Is this okay/Am I good enough/What do you think of… etc.?” as a way to confirm that their thoughts and actions are in line with yours. And if they frequently rub you the wrong way by saying or doing disturbing things on a daily/weekly basis, prepare for the avalanche of “I’m sorr[ies].” When adults make mistakes, we handle these issues on an emotional, and conscious level. “I’m sorry” is the shallowest form of an apology and lacks any kind of deeper meaning, especially on a mature level.

Guilt and Resentment

Anger and anxiety are usually the first indicators that something is wrong in a platonic friendship. To this day, I still struggle with feelings of guilt and resentment towards people who have wronged me. I hate tension and dislike upsetting people even if they may be toxic in the long-run. By walking away, I am not only setting myself free from pain but I am also setting the other person free from being misled by an unauthentic friendship that I have established with them. In this way, I am setting them free from being misled. Instead of enduring several more months or even years of anger, guilt, and resentment, I can rip off the bandage now and start healing today. This healing process starts as soon as you have walked away from the toxic parasite.

Tsunami_by_hokusai_19th_century

The Great Wave off Kanagawa | Taken from Wikipedia.org

When will you know when it is time to let them go? 
If you tell someone time and time again to back off, and they still don’t get it or can’t take the hint, it is okay to excuse yourself and walk away from the friendship. It is okay to nicely tell them that you cannot stay friends with them because they repeatedly disrespect your boundaries and that you feel uncomfortable being around them. If someone crosses my line, whether it’s through inappropriate actions or vulgar language, then I will question my friendship with this person. Often, I give people too many chances with the hopes that they will somehow smarten up and start treating me with respect. Sadly, these people are unlikely to change their ways because they don’t think anything is wrong with their behavior. Remember, disrespect is a learned behavior, but that does not exempt them from being a shitty friend because their personality sucks. Moral of the story: Find better friends.

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S.L.E.E.P.S. 7-Day Challenge | Day 6

comfortableToday is day 6 of the 7-Day S.L.E.E.P.S. Challenge and it is bittersweet. In a way, I am relieved that this challenge is almost finished because my schedule is starting to get busy again. After this challenge is over, I need to complete a few collaboration posts (did I say that right?) that I have been putting off for way too long. But once I have published these posts, I don’t plan on posting for a while so that I can focus on school. You can still find me in the WordPress community but I probably won’t be creating much content.

Last night, I was in physical pain and had a difficult time falling asleep. I knew that there was only one thing to do – call the doctor’s office this morning. It is better to nip it in the bud now than to ignore it and make a trip to the ER later. My schedule doesn’t allow for much free time so I knew that I had to get this issue taken care of now. Like anything in life, nothing happens without action. You can talk about making a change but what good is it without taking action? Ignoring the issue or procrastinating isn’t going to make the problem go away, so you are better off taking care of the annoyance now.

If you would like to read about the S.L.E.E.P.S. 7-day challenge, you can find my first posting here. This challenge was originally mentioned on a podcast called Operation Self Reset. The purpose of this challenge is to document personal progress, crush goals, and conquer fears over the duration of 7 consecutive days. Here is the breakdown from Day 1:

The acronym is S.L.E.E.P.S.
S – Smile: what made you smile yesterday?
L – Learn: what did you learn today?
E – Exercise: how did you exercise?
E – Execute (x4): what are your goals and what are you doing to achieve them?
P – Phone call: who did you call/text today? Show them gratitude.
S – Smile: what made you smile today?

Day 6 ~ May 23, 2018 

S – Have you ever taken the time to appreciate the little things in life? This week has required me to tap into my emotional well being and do some deep reflective thinking. We are wired to avoid deep thinking and instead, we prefer to take the easy route, to distract ourselves, and to avoid conflict. By working on personal development in order to become your best self, you have to become uncomfortable. Most people don’t want to feel uncomfortable because being in a vulnerable place feels wrong to them.

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This is exactly why I love podcasts so much. Usually, I would dive into a good book but this conflicts with my best interests. I am trying to practice minimalism which means that I try not to buy paperback copies anymore. Besides, I never understood the point of a kindle when the iPad does the same thing. Over time, I have learned to embrace audiobooks and podcasts. I also find that I pay more attention while listening to a podcast than I do from reading a good book. This is how my brain is wired, and in case you are wondering where my advice comes from, I did not make this stuff up. Nobody on this planet is born full of knowledge. We learn from others. I can only tell you what works and what doesn’t from my personal experiences.

L – What did I learn today? To take action when there is a problem! My main reason for taking action was physical pain, and fear of being in even more pain by Monday. Don’t procastinate. It is only the mind’s way of playing a trick on you. Procrastination is nothing more than an illusion that tricks you into feeling fine when in reality, you will need to face the problem eventually. Chances are, the problem will escalate into a worse case scenario the longer you put things off. Now if only I could apply this to school work. I came up with a plan last night to make a chart on the computer that includes all of the due dates week-by-week, similar to the one that was provided to us last semester.

tenor (3)

Spongebob Squarepants speaks to me on a spiritual level •◡•

E – I saw the doctor on campus today and got some exercise. I could feel the tingling in my legs while I was walking home. Every day, I can feel my body becoming more and more toned which is definitely a result of my walks to and from campus. My clothes are starting to fit better and I am feeling more confident these days. If you are trying to lose weight, ditch the scale. You can tell if you are getting healthier based on how your clothes fit along with knowing where you stand in terms of Body Mass Index (BMI).

E – Here are my plans for today:
(1) Figure out a carpooling schedule for tomorrow morning
(2) Write up a document with week-to-week due dates
(3) Call in-laws to see how my daughter is doing
(4) Send some important emails this week

P – I haven’t made any phone calls yet because the day is still young. I am planning on calling the in-laws again to see how my baby girl is doing. I decided to write this blog post earlier in the day so that I am not overwhelmed by it later tonight. Tomorrow is a very busy day for me and I need to prepare for it. Also, I have been thinking about a family friend who is expecting. I often wonder how she is doing. As much as I dislike making phone calls, I really think that I should call her. I have been putting it off due to social anxiety but this is exactly why I should do it. Getting uncomfortable is the key to becoming a better person.

S – What made me smile today? Today, I talked to another student who is in my program and she was very friendly. We chatted for a while and I learned that we share a lot in common. Talking to her made me smile. In contrast, the doctor who accompanied me wasn’t particularly friendly. I could tell that she was in a hurry and didn’t tell me why she was taking my blood pressure, which is very unprofessional in my opinion. I believe that all healthcare professionals need to show more compassion towards their patients which should be their primary focus prior to providing treatment.

Will you join me on this 7-day challenge? Please leave a comment below ↓ and feel free to leave a link to your blog if you decide to join me. I would love to read about your S.L.E.E.P.S. Let’s spread some love while crushing our goals!

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