Category: Friendship

Anything related but not limited to friendships and relationships.

🌞The Sunshine Blogger Award 4.0🌞

39 Comments

Whoever is reading this post, thank you for taking time out of your day to connect with me! I hope you are all doing well. In case you missed my last post, you can read about my opinion about buying and selling locally here. 

screen-shot-2018-03-23-at-8-2116615623 (1)The Sunshine Blogger Award is per recognition award for bloggers who inspire readers by promoting positivity and bringing joy. Thank you, Snigdha Deka, from The Soul Searcher, for nominating me back. Although it takes me a while to complete these awards, I still like to finish the ones that are awarded to me personally. 

I highly recommend that you follow The Soul Searcher if you haven’t done so already. She is very optimistic and aspires to accomplish amazing things in her life. For instance, she is currently working on obtaining her Ph.D. in the Department of Humanities and Social Sciences while balancing life with leisurely hobbies to include poetry, reading, cooking, and baking to name a few! You go, girl! 💁

🌞Sunshine Blogger Award Rules🌞

The Sunshine Blogger Award has rules (surprise, surprise!). These rules ensure the success of this award, providing exposure to all the award winners. The rules are quite simple and straightforward.

Rules for Award:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts. ← I don’t leave comments on their blog posts anymore because it’s spammy. Instead, I tag them in this post so that they will receive a notification about the nomination. 
  • List the rules and display a Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

Questions I was asked:

1. What motivated you to start blogging and still inspires you to blog? I wanted to get away from Facebook and needed a safe place to vent to the world while making sense of my life through writing. A blog seemed like the most logical outlet for my needs. Also, I had previously used WordPress for a project at university, so I already knew how to use this platform when I started blogging. [copied answer from Sunshine Blogger Award 2.0]

2. Which is your favourite book and why? I like self-help books but I don’t really have a preference. The one book that I would recommend to anyone who wants to better themselves is, “You Are a Badass: How to Start Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero. However, there are many books just like this one on the market.

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Look familiar? I used the same image for Sunshine Blogger Award 2.0 

3. Which is that one song currently stuck in your head? The Peppa Pig Theme Song. Peppa Pig is my daughter’s favourite show so it’s usually playing on TV at my house.

4. Three things you would love to do on a rainy day? Yesterday was a rainy day. I started working on the Sunshine Blogger Award 4.0 rough draft because I had time. Later that day, my husband came home and we decided to make strawberry shortcake! Since he wanted to use the desktop computer, I was unable to complete the rough draft, hence why I am working on finishing the questions today. We still needed exercise and usually, we go for a walk outside. However, it was still raining, so we spent time at the mall yesterday evening. 

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Delicious homemade strawberry shortcake in all of its glory.

5. What is the one food in the world that you cannot live without? Fruit! I love all kinds of fruit. If Fruitarianism was an option for me, I would totally be one. #30BAD

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Look familiar? I used the same image for Sunshine Blogger Award 2.0

6. If you could travel somewhere right now, where would it be? Right now, I would like to travel to Singapore again and spend a couple of weeks in the tropics. I am tired of the cold, rainy weather in Canada.

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Sentosa Island, Singapore | Summer 2018

7. Which do you like more – Dreams or Reality? I am a realist so I see things for how they are in the present moment. As much as I like dreams, dreams aren’t real until we make them real by turning our dreams into reality. At the end of the day, we should appreciate reality for what it is, regardless of what your reality happens to be. Here is the definition of a realist, according to Urban Dictionary:

Realists have a firm grip on reality and can see things for what they are, not what they are told they are. Realists have their own views and do not fall victim to propaganda, misconception, or titles!

1. There is the Pessimist who believes the glass is half empty!

2. There is the Optimist who believes the glass is half full!

3. Then there is the Realist who knows it is just half a fucking glass!

8. Love in one word? Unconditional ❤️

9. What do you do to make yourself feel better when you are having a bad day? Usually, I make myself a mug of chai or orange pekoe tea and watch reruns of the Big Bang Theory.

10. Which is your most embarrassing childhood memory? I feel uncomfortable sharing this story on the internet. It has to do with Aunt Flo and a lack of female sanitary products while stuck in Quebec on a school trip. Nuff said. Period. [copied answer from Sunshine Blogger Award 3.0]

11. Three ways you would want to bring more happiness and peace to this world?

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🌞Sunshine Blogger Award Nominees🌞

https://newblogger20.wordpress.com/

https://laviedeuveeblog.wordpress.com/

https://bournemouthgirl.com/

https://selfcaresloth.wordpress.com/

https://sassycatlady.com/

https://retrospectivelily.com/

https://caffeinatedinlosangeles.com/

https://nicolesundays.wordpress.com/

https://renardsworld.wordpress.com/

https://rapturousretreat.wordpress.com/

https://gracethoroughgoodbeauty.wordpress.com/

Questions for the nominees:

1. Why did you decide to start a blog?
2. What year did you publish your first blog post?
3. What is your favorite blog post you’ve written and why?
4. Do you own a pet? If so, what kind?
5. Do you have any routines before you write a blog post?
6. What motivates you to write? Where do you find inspiration?
7. What is your favorite social media platform and why?
8. Are you a coffee or tea drinker?
9. What is the most valuable thing you’ve learned from blogging?
10. Are you satisfied with your blog’s progress so far?
11. What do you fear the most?

And….GO!! There is no pressure to respond to this nomination, as I know you have very busy lives outside of the blogging world. I look forward to reading your answers if you do decide to participate in the Sunshine Blogger Award. I am curious to know what your answers are! BTW, I am reusing the same questions I asked last time because I haven’t previously nominated these bloggers.

great-vibes.regular (1)

 

🌞The Sunshine Blogger Award 3.0🌞

56 Comments

Whoever is reading this post, thank you for taking time out of your day to connect with me! I hope you are all doing well. It’s time for yet another Sunshine Blogger Award! I had originally planned to split up the Sunshine Blogger Awards throughout the week but my laptop is unreliable right now. It keeps crashing on me every half-hour because there is something wrong with the cooling fan. 

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The Sunshine Blogger Award is per recognition award for bloggers who inspire readers by promoting positivity and bringing joy. Thank you, Ilona, for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. This is the third award that I have been nominated for and I am excited to participate in the Q&A yet gain.

Ilona has a popular blog called easydiet.blog, and her blog is one of my personal favorites. She takes the time to connect with her readers and she’s a wonderful person. I feel a sense of belonging whenever I visit her blog and I also feel like I have known her for a long time, even though we haven’t met in person. If you haven’t already done so, you should go check out her blog. 🌻

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🌞Sunshine Blogger Award Rules🌞

The Sunshine Blogger Award has rules (surprise, surprise!). These rules ensure the success of this award, providing exposure to all the award winners. The rules are quite simple and straightforward.

Rules for Award:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display a Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

QUESTIONS I WAS ASKED:

1. How does the person develop a personality over time? Personally, I believe that we are born with our personalities (nature), and our personalities are shaped through childhood experiences (nurture). Many people may argue that we cannot change our personalities over time and I agree with this statement. However, I also believe that we can change our personalities through personal development and self-awareness which happens over time.

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This used to be my desktop background so I could look at it every day as a reminder to aim high.

2. Do you have a dream to chase? Yes, I have spent a few years chasing after my dream of working in the field of health care. Even though it is taking much longer than I had intended due to unforeseen circumstances, I still plan on becoming a RN eventually.

I am not in love with my stethoscope and wish I would have chosen mauve or hot pink instead of raspberry. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Are you really doing, what you would like to do in life? Not yet. I thought I would have established a career by now or have a full-time job in the health care industry. I already have a B.Sc. in biology and I have been taking university courses since 2010. These days, I am a stay at home mom (SAHM) who feels unfulfilled and stuck in life. Even worse, I am unable to accomplish my other long-term goals because of a failed semester. It’s super frustrating because I am not getting the results I want! 💢

4. Are you afraid to make mistakes? If so, why? Yes. I am afraid of making mistakes because I am afraid of making the wrong choices. Sometimes, failure to take any action whatsoever only makes the situation worse. I have one more chance to go back to school next January, but a part of me wants to ditch the dream of becoming a nurse in case it doesn’t work out.

5. Do you react to other people’s actions or do you choose your own actions? I react to other people’s actions most of the time. Rudeness and entitlement really rub me the wrong way, and I am not hesitant to block people on social media if they piss me off.

6. Is there something that you know you have to let go, but you can’t? I have to let go of the anger I have towards certain people and stop playing the victim. Having anger and bitterness towards them does not make the situation any better. The negative feelings are ultimately hurting ME, so I need to let these thoughts go, and yet I struggle to let them go.

7. What makes you the happiest in your life? Why? Being free of depression and other negative thoughts. Part of the reason why I am on a journey towards self-actualization is to figure out how to rewire my brain and stop these negative-thinking loops. Guided meditation helps me escape these negative thoughts, if only for a moment.

8. Would you like to be famous? Being famous brings additional problems and burdens mainly driven by ego and greed. I would like to be remembered for being authentic and humble. Fame is still a possibility, but I wouldn’t want to famous for the reasons that most people want to be famous.

 9. The most embarrassing moment of your life? I feel uncomfortable sharing this story on the internet. It has to do with Aunt Flo and a lack of female sanitary products while stuck in Quebec on a school trip. Nuff said. Period.

10. Do you have any superstition? I believe that I will attract good health, longevity, truth, and fidelity for every 1000 paper cranes that I fold. I don’t know how many paper cranes I have made in my lifetime, but it’s probably a few thousand. If you would like to learn more about this superstition, you can read about the 1000 Cranes Legend.

Some of the paper cranes that I folded for a school project.

11. What you don’t like about yourself? I struggle with body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) and I hate the way my body looks. You may or may not know this about me, but I was anorexic when I was 14 years old which was triggered by bullying, depression, and feelings of inadequacy. I especially hate my smile and can’t stand it when people bug me for selfies. I also hate my big forehead. It hurts my feelings when people make fun of the way I look.

🌞Sunshine Blogger Award Nominees🌞

https://mbodypower479768866.wordpress.com

https://gagsblog.com

https://trystwithmind.wordpress.com

https://stevescountry.com

https://whenanintrovertspeaks.home.blog

https://michellewriterblog.wordpress.com

https://changedlife365.net

https://lifesfinewhine.wordpress.com

https://hopescorner.home.blog

https://musingsandroses.wordpress.com

https://thetalesofateenagebrunette.wordpress.com

Questions for the nominees:

1. Why did you decide to start a blog?
2. What year did you publish your first blog post?
3. What is your favorite blog post you’ve written and why?
4. Do you own a pet? If so, what kind?
5. Do you have any routines before you write a blog post?
6. What motivates you to write? Where do you find inspiration?
7. What is your favorite social media platform and why?
8. Are you a coffee or tea drinker?
9. What is the most valuable thing you’ve learned from blogging?
10. Are you satisfied with your blog’s progress so far?
11. What do you fear the most?

And….GO!! There is no pressure to respond to this nomination, as I know you have very busy lives outside of the blogging world. I look forward to reading your answers if you do decide to participate in the Sunshine Blogger Award. I am curious to know what your answers are! 

great-vibes.regular (1)

 

🌞The Sunshine Blogger Award 2.0🌞

41 Comments

Whoever is reading this post, thank you for taking time out of your day to connect with me! I hope you are all doing well. In case you missed my last post, you can read all about it here: My Favourite Things.

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The Sunshine Blogger Award is per recognition award for bloggers who inspire readers by promoting positivity and bringing joy. Thank you, Stay Alive, for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. This is the second award that I have been nominated for and I am excited to participate in the Q&A yet gain.

sunshineStay Alive runs a popular blog called reaosons2stayhome, which is a fairly new blog that has recently gained momentum in the blogging community. I am not surprised considering that this blog speaks to many people who suffer from depression and anxiety. The purpose of Stay Alive is exactly what the blog implies – to stay alive by finding purpose in your life and a reason to live. 

🌞Sunshine Blogger Award Rules🌞

The Sunshine Blogger Award has rules (surprise, surprise!). These rules ensure the success of this award, providing exposure to all the award winners. The rules are quite simple and straightforward.

Rules for Award:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display a Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

Question I was asked by Stay Alive:

1. If there was absolutely nothing stopping you, what would you do to make this world a better place? I would ensure that people have access to clean water and as well as food security. Most of the world lacks access to these basic needs as people continue to die from starvation and preventable infections caused by contaminated water. Considering that first world countries have an abundance of food and access to clean, running water, I personally think that it pathetic that wealthy countries are so full of greed and people care more about how many likes their Instagram photo has. Meanwhile, there are impoverished people in this world who are struggling just to stay alive.

Stay Alive asked a great question! I personally enjoy answering questions, so I am also including Ilona’s questions to make my replies a bit more interesting. Ilona’s blog is very inspiring and optimistic. If you don’t follow her blog already, you should definitely check out her blog for her latest updates at https://easydiet.blog/

Questions asked by Ilona:

1. Tell me two things that prompted you to start a blog? I wanted to get away from Facebook and needed a safe place to vent to to the world while making sense of my life through writing. A blog seemed like the most logical outlet for my needs. Also, I had previously used WordPress for a project in university, so I already knew the how to use this platform when I started blogging.

2. What is the happiest day in your life? This is a hard question to answer since I am fortunate to have had more than one “happiest day” in my life so far. I was happy when I met my now husband, when we got married, and when our daughter was born. My answers are so cliché but these are my most memorable moments. [copied answer from Sunshine Blogger Award 1.0]

3.What absolutely excites you right now? I don’t really have much to be excited about these days, but if I had to choose something, it would be the progress that I am making with my weight loss. I would like to wear crop tops and bikinis this summer, which I believe is possible if I continue to stick to my diet consisting mostly of unprocessed, anti-inflammatory foods.

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You can live frugally and still eat well! Be sure to check out 7 Ways to Stop Wasting Money

4. What’s the most important thing I should know about you? I suffer from depression and I am currently seeking help. I do not let depression define who I am as a person. I also feel like depression allows us to play victim and throw pity parties for ourselves which is NOT what I intend to do with this blog. Sometimes, we are just dealt a bad hand in life but that does not mean that we should continue to using the same crappy cards dealt to us over and over again.

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My depression was bad last weekend. I only took this photo because someone was bugging me for a selfie.

5. What are you currently reading? I am not reading any books at the moment. Sometimes I will casually skim through “You Are a Badass: How to Start Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero.

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My book looks beaten up because it has traveled with me to Singapore and back.

6. What do you think is the driving force in your life? I was put on this planet to heal people. I don’t know how exactly, but I know that I am supposed to be a healer in this life. I used to interpret this as a future nutritionist, but fate did not work out that way. Now, I am interpreting this calling as a registered nurse. However, I have faced several challenges trying to achieve my goal of becoming a nurse. I still don’t know how to interpret the role of a healer or what I am truly passionate about.

7. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you this year/month/week? Honestly, not much. I am literally at a standstill in life and feel like I have hit a brick wall. There isn’t anything that I have to look forward to right now except $1 iced coffee all summer, if that counts.

8. If you had the opportunity to meet one person you haven’t met, who would it be, why, and what would you talk about? I would like to meet a girl I met online who I’ve known for several years now. We used to admin Facebook Pages together back when I was still using Facebook. She recently started a blog called https://sadlonelybutterfly.wordpress.com/ and I encourage you to check our her blog. One day, my husband and I will probably have the opportunity to visit her and I’m sure we will talk about many things. I would like to meet her family and her boyfriend. Right now, we call each other on the phone and talk for hours at a time. Since we both enjoy video games and anime, I can see us binging on our favorite pastimes when we meet each other in real life.

9. Who is your role model? A family friend who I grew up with and happens to live in the same city as me. We don’t hang out that much anymore. She basically has the life I want and I envy her. I am also a bit jealous of her which is something I know stems from my own insecurities. I never told her that she is my role model.

10. If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask? Can science prove the existence of God?

11. How can I be most helpful to you right now? I am not sure how to interpret this question. It would help if you read my blog. Also, be sure to “like” this post if you enjoyed reading it. All of your feedback is helpful and comments are welcome. It helps to know what my fellow readers would like to see more of in future posts.

🌞Sunshine Blogger Award Nominees🌞

https://minimalismmyway.com/

https://biblionyan.com/

https://beautybeyondbones.com/

https://bealright.blog/

https://simpleula.com/

https://theintrospectivescribbleronline.wordpress.com/

https://soulsearcher.life/

https://stiinamarie.wordpress.com/

https://sadlonelybutterfly.wordpress.com/

https://www.blessingsbyme.com/

https://mywellbeingandlearningjourney.wordpress.com/

Questions for the nominees:

1. Why did you decide to start a blog?
2. What year did you publish your first blog post?
3. What is your favourite thing about blogging?
4. Do you own a pet? If so, what kind?
5. Do you have any routines before you write a blog post?
6. What motivates you to write? Where do you find inspiration?
7. What country do you live in?
8. Are you a coffee or tea drinker?
9. Are you a morning person or a night person?
10. What languages do you speak?
11. What do you fear the most?

And….GO!! There is no pressure to respond to this nomination, as I know you have very busy lives outside of the blogging world. I look forward to reading your answers if you do decide to participate in the Sunshine Blogger Award. I am curious to know what your answers are! BTW, I am reusing the same questions I asked last time because I haven’t previously nominated these bloggers.

great-vibes.regular (1)

 

🌞The Sunshine Blogger Award🌞

34 Comments

Whoever is reading this post, thank you for taking time out of your day to connect with me! I hope you are all doing well. In case you missed my last post, I have been dealing with depression but I don’t want it to prevent me from writing. I’m determined to fight my demons through writing, which is a therapeutic outlet for me. 

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The Sunshine Blogger Award is per recognition award for bloggers who inspire readers by promoting positivity and bringing joy. Thank you, Ilona, for nominating me. Ilona runs a popular blog called easydiet.blog which has become popular since she first launched it. I feel like I can resonate with Ilona on many levels because she speaks from her heart and takes the time to connect with her readers. Even though we live miles away from each other, it doesn’t feel like we are separated by distance. 

Ilona’s blog is very inspiring and optimistic! If you don’t follow her blog already, you should definitely check out her blog.

🌞Sunshine Blogger Award Rules🌞

The Sunshine Blogger Award has rules (surprise, surprise!). These rules ensure the success of this award, providing exposure to all the award winners. The rules are quite simple and straightforward.

Rules for Award:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display a Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

Questions I was asked:

1. What do you enjoy most in blogging? I enjoy connecting with other bloggers because I feel like I am a part of something bigger. I also feel like I belong in this community and the atmosphere seems much more positive and inviting compared to other platforms (I’m looking at you, Facebook).

2. What has been your most successful blog post and why do you think it was such a success? I am not sure which blog post is most successful, but I am guessing that it is probably Life is Not All Sunshine and Rainbows since it seemed to get the most likes and comments. This is the also the first blog post where I openly wrote about depression.

3. What was your happiest moment in life so far? This is a hard question to answer since I am fortunate to have had more than one “happiest moment” in my life. I was happy when I met my now husband, when we got married, and when our daughter was born. My answers are so cliché but these are my most memorable moments.

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My daughter enjoying the sunflowers at her grandparents’ house. 🌻

4. What is your little wish you would like to come through the soonest? I wish for things to get better in 2019. So far, it’s been a rough year for me and I would really like to see big improvements. I am sick and tired of feeling “stuck” in life. This is a quarter-life crisis maybe?

5. A day on the beach or a day exploring a city? I burn easily in the sun so a day exploring a city!

6. Where would you like to travel next? Japan.

7. What is your favourite season and why? I am an August baby so summer has always been my favourite season. I also like summer because this season promotes relaxation unless you work/study year-round. Even summer semesters seem more relaxed.

8. Eating what food brings to you some happy memories about your childhood? My oma makes the best cakes and desserts. Her cakes are mouthwatering and delectable. She still makes them but I live across the country, so I cannot enjoy them sadly.

Quick German lesson: Oma means grandmother & Opa means grandfather.

9. Who is your favourite historical character and why? I never really cared for history. Terry Fox is not my favourite historic figure but I remember him well because we had to do this Terry Fox run every Friday in elementary school. And to make things worse, it was timed and graded.

10. What is the piece of music that brings back to your happy memories? Wind of Change by the Scorpions. My dad told me that I had the entire song memorized by age 4. My best memory is singing this song in his Volkswagen with the windows rolled down.

11. If you could go back in time when would you like to live? I prefer to live in the present, not in the past.

🌞Sunshine Blogger Award Nominees🌞

https://humanityliveson.home.blog/

https://popsiclesociety.com/

https://grieftolife.com/

https://joypassiondesire.com/

https://existentialergonomics.com/

https://groundinggrowth.com/

https://jazminheavenblog.com/

https://opinionatingblog.wordpress.com/

https://millenniallifecrisis.org/

https://coffeennotes.wordpress.com/

https://fightmsdaily.com/

Questions for the nominees:

1. Why did you decide to start a blog?
2. What year did you publish your first blog post?
3. What is your favourite thing about blogging?
4. Do you own a pet? If so, what kind?
5. Do you have any routines before you write a blog post?
6. What motivates you to write? Where do you find inspiration?
7. What country do you live in?
8. Are you a coffee or tea drinker?
9. Are you a morning person or a night person?
10. What languages do you speak?
11. What do you fear the most?

And….GO!! There is no pressure to respond to this nomination, as I know you have very busy lives outside of the blogging world. I look forward to reading your answers if you do decide to participate in the Sunshine Blogger Award. I am curious to know what your answers are! 

great-vibes.regular (1)

 

Boundaries Matter

6 Comments

 

What are boundaries and why does it matter? 
Everyone should have their own set of explicit rules regarding personal boundaries. Personal boundaries include material boundaries, physical boundaries, mental boundaries, emotional boundaries, and even sexual boundaries. Personally, I know people who have a lack of personal boundaries which translates into a lack of respect for themselves. I also know generous people who are easily taken advantage of and are unable to stick up for themselves. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are people who have a very firm understanding of their boundaries and ultimately, respect themselves and their personal rights. In an ideal world, we should all learn how to stick up for ourselves when our boundaries are crossed. We should also learn how to let go of toxic friends who are sucking the energy and joy out of our lives. For the majority of my life, I was easily taken advantage of because I am a people pleaser by default. I was afraid of losing friends if I were to upset them in any way. Being blunt towards a crappy friend is a messy process and it is probably going to hurt you in one way or another. This is all part of growing up and behaving like an adult, and it’s time that we start being adults.

Settling for crappy friends is better than being alone, right?
I let people take advantage of me for years and still have a very hard time standing up for myself. To this day, I don’t like confronting people face to face but have no problems sending a very blunt email or letter. Over the years, however, I learned that being a doormat in order to please others is actually harmful to my psyche. Just like being taken advantage of is a learned behavior, learning to stick up for yourself because you actually respect yourself is also a learned behavior – and a much healthier one!

If something doesn’t feel right, then why do you keep doing it?
After pondering this question for years, I have concluded that if something is causing you pain, then the best thing to do is to walk away. Often times, people do not want to change themselves and you cannot expect them to change for you. You can rip the bandage off now or peel the bandage off slowly, but it has to come off. You need to set yourself free of these toxic people. The initial pain of cutting them out of your life will hurt, but you are doing yourself a huge favor by practicing self-care.

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Image: http://visit-miyajima-japan.com/en/culture-and-heritage/spiritual-heritage-temples-shrines/le-torii-flottant.html

It’s Not Me, It’s YOU!

These people face many problems of their own and likely come from broken pasts. We all have problems and deep psychological issues but the difference between us and them is our level of self-awareness and our ability to take full responsibility for our actions. Usually, these people are initially harmless and probably want someone who will give them the time of day, but the biggest conflict arises when they translate your kindness as some kind of love interest or booty call. This topic is taboo for me, and I do not want to pursue a friendship with anyone who believes that I am sexually available. I am a married woman and I feel that Millenials don’t take marriage as seriously as previous generations. Despite that, what really sickens me is the lack of respect for not only myself but also my marriage. The most frustrating aspect of this type of friendship occurs when [he] continues to seek validation by questioning whether or not I’m still friends with [him]. You should know where you stand with me, and if you can sense that I am annoyed, then you should be aware that you’re being a tool. This type of behavior becomes toxic when the person continues to cling to you like cat hair and continues to seek your approval regarding their thoughts and actions. They may ask you questions like, “Is this okay/Am I good enough/What do you think of… etc.?” as a way to confirm that their thoughts and actions are in line with yours. And if they frequently rub you the wrong way by saying or doing disturbing things on a daily/weekly basis, prepare for the avalanche of “I’m sorr[ies].” When adults make mistakes, we handle these issues on an emotional, and conscious level. “I’m sorry” is the shallowest form of an apology and lacks any kind of deeper meaning, especially on a mature level.

Guilt and Resentment

Anger and anxiety are usually the first indicators that something is wrong in a platonic friendship. To this day, I still struggle with feelings of guilt and resentment towards people who have wronged me. I hate tension and dislike upsetting people even if they may be toxic in the long-run. By walking away, I am not only setting myself free from pain but I am also setting the other person free from being misled by an unauthentic friendship that I have established with them. In this way, I am setting them free from being misled. Instead of enduring several more months or even years of anger, guilt, and resentment, I can rip off the bandage now and start healing today. This healing process starts as soon as you have walked away from the toxic parasite.

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The Great Wave off Kanagawa | Taken from Wikipedia.org

When will you know when it is time to let them go? 
If you tell someone time and time again to back off, and they still don’t get it or can’t take the hint, it is okay to excuse yourself and walk away from the friendship. It is okay to nicely tell them that you cannot stay friends with them because they repeatedly disrespect your boundaries and that you feel uncomfortable being around them. If someone crosses my line, whether it’s through inappropriate actions or vulgar language, then I will question my friendship with this person. Often, I give people too many chances with the hopes that they will somehow smarten up and start treating me with respect. Sadly, these people are unlikely to change their ways because they don’t think anything is wrong with their behavior. Remember, disrespect is a learned behavior, but that does not exempt them from being a shitty friend because their personality sucks. Moral of the story: Find better friends.

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Pandora’s Box

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It has finally happened. All of the sleepless nights I spent wondering whatever happened to Jenna* became very clear but only for a millisecond. I had forgotten that I buried Pandora’s Box under a pile of 0’s and 1’s, hidden in a place where boredom and curiosity finally revealed it for all its worth. In other words, I didn’t realize that I had access to her gossip and haterade. I had completely forgotten that we were still “friends” in that realm which meant I would be able to see her entire profile. However, whether or not it was my Guardian Angels or God, they protected me at that very moment. Reflexively, I deleted Pandora’s Box, where it will ultimately remain out of my reach forever, and I did this without thinking, without comprehending what had just happened. I only realized what I had done seconds later. Without reading all of the FOMO that I could have feasted my eyes upon tonight, everything vanished before curiosity could even kill the cat. In the end, I didn’t get to see or read anything, which is the irony of it all.

Spoiler alert: the cat is very much alive. Here I was, so close to getting what I wanted, and when I finally had the chance to read her latest gossip like a kid in a candy shop, I had banished it before my eyes like a parent to my inner child.

Did I do this subconsciously out of anger and loathing?

Or did I do this because, at that very moment, a spirit much larger than humankind decided to protect me? But what does this even mean?

Was there something in Pandora’s Box that would have deeply hurt me had I read it? I mean, JD hurt me terribly, and I am still trying to move on in order live a life free of drama.

But what exactly was in her box that I needed to be protected from?

Perhaps, if I am being protected for my own good, then this realization makes me even more curious about what was in Pandora’s Box. At the same time, this eye-opening experience is a reminder that I must remove my washed-up digital footprint from the universe so that another rendezvous like this one won’t happen again. People say that whatever you share online lasts forever, so if that statement is true, I will finally remove my past by locking it up for good and throwing away the key so that nobody, including myself, will have access to it.

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Jenna* is no her real name. The name has been changed because of #confidentiality

 

Library Boredom

A LIST OF THINGS TO DO💡

1) Hide in the aisles and surprise people by jumping out at them – and then run away!

2) Take an elevator ride up to the top level and back down again. Repeat.

3) Climb the stairs carrying a virtual flag and pretend to stab the floor when you reach the 6th floor!

4) Order every item on the Williams menu.

5) Try to take out $1 from the ATM machine.

6) Go to the front desk and ask someone to exchange $1 for 100 pennies.

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This list was inspired by my friend Grace* while we were bored at the McLaughlin Library. Name has been changed for confidentiality.

 

 

Mistletoe Survival Kit

The other day while I was sorting through old stuff, I reminisced over a Christmas scavenger hunt my once-upon-a-time-friend hosted a couple years ago. Sadly, our friendship faced an ugly and inevitable end but this scavenger hunt happened to be one of my better memories with her. Thought I would share this with you – it’s hilarious IMO. I’m not sure if this is an original idea of hers or a Pinterest remake.

Disclaimer: The following instructions contain incoherent ideas, grammar/spelling mistakes, and humor. Read at your own risk. If the mistletoe ends up giving you hives, don’t come crying to me.

Welcome to the Mistletoe Survival Kit! 

We’ve all encountered it. Whether it in your grandmother’s living room, or above the door to a random dark ally. It’s green and usually round ball appearance. Of course, this thing of pleasure or pain being mistletoe.

Now you might be asking yourself, “why do I need this?” Well, Random fact #1, Mistletoe can kill you. That’s right, it’s poisonous. And if this man you’re kissing under it turns out to be some kind of mass mistletoe killer, you’ll thank me. Inside this box, you will find everything you will need to survive this unnerving event.

Red being if the smooch goes as planned, Green is if the man of your dreams ended up with dog breath.

Good luck, and Happy Smooching!

Social Comparison on Social Media

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If someone told me 10 years ago that I would be married by now with a child, I would have laughed at them and thought they were insane. I never imagined myself to be where I am now but despite my highlight reel, I do not make a point to brag about it on Facebook and other forms of social media. I am one who despises when other people brag about how great their lives are and it would be hypocritical of me to do the same.

That’s great your career is going well and you just bought a house with your boyfriend. That’s great you just got a promotion. That’s great you had a wedding that I wasn’t invited to. That’s great you have a lovely family and a million siblings – I wonder what that’s like! That’s great you post a gazillion photos of your amazing life every day. That’s great you are pregnant and a couple years from now you’ll be pregnant again. Since I cannot get away from these announcements, I cut myself off of social media. Please tell me in person so I’ll actually care in a genuine way. The last place I want to find out is on Facebook, where I feel pressured to conform and congratulate you in the most shallow way possible.

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“Being different isn’t a bad thing. It just means that you are brave enough to be yourself.” -unknown

Now, I know that we all have problems but we seldom hear about the bad things in life. I much rather hear about someone’s struggles than see a constant highlight reel of someone’s life. My parents have instilled in me to only post the good things because otherwise, people would know me on a deeper level. Go figure! Isn’t that the point? To connect with people on a meaningful level? Let’s face it, shallow isn’t a meaningful level. If I cannot post freely, then I rather not post at all. I hope that my family doesn’t find this blog because the moment they do I will be getting an earful of lectures. Once my mother found my Instagram I stopped posting because of her criticisms. My parents find ways to creep my Facebook so I stopped posting there as well. My second “private” account is not so private if my real name is searched. Now, how did that happen?? I honestly question the Facebook privacy settings.

My husband strongly discourages social comparison but he doesn’t understand it the same way I do. He didn’t struggle with life the same way I did and he doesn’t suffer from depression, anxiety, loneliness, and isolation. For me, social media brings out feelings of jealousy so I am better off being ignorant to the newsfeed. He says that I attract certain people and in a way he is right. I seem to resonate better with unhappy people in general: the high school drop-outs, low-class people from dysfunctional families, unhealthy people with medical conditions, pessimistic people who see the glass half empty etc. In a way, I want to help them, and perhaps I feel sorry for them. It’s hard for me to resonate with people who are exactly like me.

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Husband with our sweet baby girl.

These people, in contrast, trigger my anxiety and depression. I am not only comparing myself to successful people but when my life is at a standstill I am even more prone to self-loathing. I have a strong, innate desire to be successful and exceed people’s expectations and with that comes dissatisfaction and feelings of unworthiness.

From a distance, someone may think that I have a good life, and maybe I do but its hard for me to see it. I cannot understand why ANYONE would be jealous of me. I have A LOT of struggles but they hardly see this side of me. I occasionally use a private forum on my phone for well-being, logging and calendar charting. I like the anonymity of the social feature but it also saddens me since I will never truly get to know these ladies beyond a phone screen. The relationships are shallow and just as quickly as we became forum friends, one can easily hit the “unfollow” button which I am equally guilty of doing. It’s not that I have anything against these ladies (unless they are rude and end up on the blocked list). However, if you fill my home page with bragger-y, TMI posts, pregnancy announcements, big accomplishments that crave praise etc. I need to protect my sanity (aka. my inner child, the identity I actually resonate with). I hope you understand that my well-being is a delicate vessel that needs nurturing which only I can nurture. My inner child does not receive proper nourishment from validation, likes and praise on social media and yours shouldn’t either. That would be similar to feeding my inner child candy bars, chips, and soda. I need REAL nourishment and that satiation can only come from within.

 

 

Weeding Out Toxic Friends Part 2

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This post is a continuation of Weeding Out Toxic Friends. If you haven’t read it yet, please read that blog post first.

Update: Since I mailed my letter to Jenna* and she should have received it by now, I decided to write to Emma* as well. For their sake, real names won’t be disclosed. Lately, I noticed that I am mourning the loss of these friendships even though these girls hurt me deeply. Writing closure letters is a healthier way to deal with these feelings of grief. Hopefully, Jenna read her letter but I’ll never know for sure since I completely cut ties with her. It is likely that Emma will read her letter but I’m unsure whether she’ll actually feel bad about how she treated me. She’s extremely selfish and lacks any form of emotion and empathy for others.

Emma isn’t exactly the sharpest pencil of the pack, so I decided to dumb my letter down for her. It’s longer than letter #1 because I wrote out definitions and thoroughly explained things so she would understand it. I questioned why I often hung out with Emma because we were in completely different leagues, socially and academically. I’m an intellect – a high achiever, while she spent the majority of high school in special ED homework help class. Someone, please tell me how this counts as credit towards high school graduation?? She failed the grade 10 literacy test twice and the reason why we became friends in the first place. While she was taking literacy class in summer school, I was studying advanced physics to skip a grade. Her parents are teachers so it is puzzling as to why she didn’t receive proper help and guidance outside of school.

Dear Emma,

So we are not exactly “friends” anymore, but I think you have the right to know how I really feel. There was a time when I would have cared enough to send an apology text message begging for forgiveness. Now, I just don’t care enough anymore to say “I’m sorry” because truthfully, I didn’t do anything wrong and here’s why:

I do not appreciate being belittled by you, insulted and talked down to as if I am stupid. In case you don’t know what belittled means, “To belittle, means to put down or to make another person feel as though they aren’t important. Saying mean things about another person literally makes them feel “little.” To belittle someone is cruel ways of making someone else seem less important than you.” You belittle me all the time, and Jenna feels this way too even though she will never admit it. She pretends to ignore it, but I am going to speak up.

You may think that you are better than the rest of us, but news flash! You’re not superior to others. Do not text me again asking me, “What is wrong with you??” Do not send me anymore obnoxious YouTube music videos about flakiness. In case you don’t know what flaky means, it means, “an unreliable person. Dishonest and doesn’t keep their word.” I always showed up on time to our meetings. Out of curiosity, tell me how often Jenna bailed on you. She’s bailed on me as well, and that is the definition of a flaky person. I am not dishonest and will flat out tell you what’s wrong if we have a problem. However, lately, I have been stepping on eggshells around you, afraid that you will misinterpret what I said. I know what Jenna did to you the night you two went to Menchies (Recall: March 1, 2017). Remember how much it hurt you when Jenna and I went to Menchies and you felt excluded because you weren’t there? Think about how I felt the night you two went to Menchies without me. How is this any different than how you felt? It’s a sucky feeling to be excluded.

On the night you two were devouring your frozen desserts, Jenna randomly texted me while I was in the middle of writing anatomy notes. *PING!* goes my phone. Jenna hardly texts me anymore, so I was a bit puzzled by this random text message and assumed it was important. I open the message, disappointed to see that she sent me a rather obnoxious image of your frozen yogurts and tells me to “rate it.” Tell me, if this was sent to you, and it was obvious that you weren’t included, how would you feel? At first, I wasn’t going to reply to it at all, but thought, what the heck! At least she’s making the effort to make small talk with me right? I decided to send a witty reply, hoping to add some comedy to this otherwise ignorant text message. I shouldn’t have fallen for her trap but it was too late. I replied with a long metaphor comparing an innocent frozen dessert to social media and how everyone competes for attention on the internet, which you didn’t understand because this humor wasn’t meant for you. I was texting Jenna, not you but Jenna decided to make it your business. Jenna replied to me saying that my metaphor was funny but that’s clearly NOT what she told you. So what did she tell you exactly? That I was insulting? Wow.

What she told you was a lie, but this time I am not going to apologize for something I didn’t do. In case you don’t know what a metaphor is, it means, “a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is NOT literally applicable.” You took it literally.

Here is an example of a metaphor: “I had fallen through a trapdoor of depression.” It doesn’t literally mean that you fall through a trapdoor.

Now relate this back to the original text message that I sent Jenna if you saw it. Do you get it now? I wasn’t insulting your dessert. I was in figuratively comparing two unrelated things and finding similarities between them and personifying frozen yogurt as if it was a person on Fakebook, Twitter etc. So no, there is nothing wrong with me, but thanks for the unwanted insult. (Now I am being sarcastic here. If you don’t know what sarcastic means, look it up).

Without the online/texting drama, I am living a much more peaceful life now. I am not telling people my personal business thanks to Jenna teaching me what NOT to do. What she did was unforgivable but I have already written to her. I am sick of Jenna’s sick twisted ways of manipulating your feelings leading you to irrationally lash out at me. Your behavior wasn’t necessary and perhaps our friendship could have been spared if you took the time to actually think before you freaked out at me. She plays you like a fool but you haven’t realized it yet. Honestly, I feel a bit sorry for you because you keep crawling back to her, and the drama/fights/back-stabbing continues. Your behavior and treatment towards me and others are not acceptable. What’s worse is that you don’t often instigate it – often it’s her who told you something to upset you, on PURPOSE. Have you noticed this trend? I’m tired of it. Over the years, it became harder to relate to you on a deeper level and our friendship was often “shallow.” One day we were Facebook besties, usually after a fight between you and Jenna. The next day Jenna was your bestie. A week later you hated her guts. The next week you and I were best friends supposedly. Often it seems like she is your bestie but you’re not actually her bestie. It’s not a 2-way street like she’s manipulated you into thinking it is. I can tell you who her bestie is, but I’m not going to gossip about stuff that isn’t my business. Like I said earlier, it felt like I was stepping on eggshells because you could snap at me at any second. You were quite rude to me, insulting my intelligence and acting superior to everyone else. Superior means, “to act like we are stupid and that you can do no wrong, that you’re ALWAYS right in every situation.”

There was something I liked about you though. You were willing to genuinely apologize after our fight last year. Jenna instigated the fight and manipulated it (of course she did…) but she never apologized for her behavior. Truth is, she never apologizes for ANYTHING. Remember how she would often bail on you and not show up when she was supposed to? Over time, she started bailing on me as well, canceling plans on me or not informing me that she was busy. It was really rude. But the biggest issue I have with her is the fact that she vanishes shortly after she starts drama. You’re open about your feelings when something is bothering you. Jenna on the other hand, wouldn’t say anything and would disappear in the middle of the drama. She wouldn’t answer texts for days, call me back, and would ignore me. The night you sent me that angry text message about the frozen yogurt, Jenna vanished. She explained nothing to me, that you were upset, or anything. No text. *POOF!* and she disappears and pretends to act like she knows nothing the next time she’s questioned about it. Every incident was like this with Jenna but this time was the last straw. I’ve had it with her bullshit and I’ve had it with you leaping before thinking. I am tired of being that “third wheel.” I want the best for everyone and don’t exclude people intentionally. I can clearly see what she did that night (and last year too), and hopefully, now you can understand my side of the story.

You probably thought that I was stealing Jenna from you but I wasn’t. It truly is unfortunate that I’m not friends with either of you now because of the damage caused. I have some good memories with you and I won’t forget these moments. I feel saddened that things ended the way that they did but I have no interest in repairing my friendship with you. It is exhausting and I am tired of putting my energy into a friendship that is draining me and putting me down more than it is lifting me up. The insults, the belittlement, the back-stabbing; it’s simply too much. I hate to say this, but my friendship with you has become unhealthy. It was really nice knowing you and being a part of your life, and I wish you all the best. I hope that you learned something from all of this and that one day you’ll find better friends too. Since it’s clear that we aren’t making each other happy anymore, it’s best that we go our separate ways. It was really nice knowing you all of these years, and sharing memories together. I wish you all the best in your endeavors.    –Hilary♥ 

Texting Killed the Conversation

There is nothing wrong with texting. In fact, it’s the main way that I communicate with people these days. Being in an isolated location and supervising a newborn 24/7, it’s very difficult to socialize in the real world. Throughout the last 8 years of my life, I became a texting queen. My writing has improved significantly and my WPM speed is stellar.

woman-smartphone-girl-busFor the majority of people, their writing skills may have suffered for the same reason my skills have improved. With the convenience of texting and messenger apps, emojis, acronyms etc. are hurting our writing etiquette. I am beginning to dread the *PING* on my phone; the notification that someone messaged me. Immediately I get a rush of adrenaline and dopamine and before I know it, I already opened the app. Disappointed, I see that a Facebook “friend” (or acquaintance) has sent me a “hi.” That’s it. Hi. Nothing else. No introduction. Just a Hi.  Really now?!

Hi. Hey. Sup. Wazzup. It’s all the same to me. How are you (and God forbid, hru) is pushing it. I used to be inclined to answer to all of these texts and realized over the years that I was just wasting time. One-word responses killed the texting conversation before it even had a chance to grow and flourish into a deep, rich engagement between two people. With a little bit of optimism, I would end up replying with a sentence, hoping that they would get the hint and say something meaningful. I press >>send<< and moments later I hear another *PING.* I open the message with anticipation, only to be more disappointed. They sent me an OK. Just an OK. They couldn’t even be bothered to write the whole word. Maybe next time they’ll send me a LOL or an emoji or some dumb meme that’s been floating around social media.

I decide to call it quits. Before I have the chance to send a sarcastic reply, an eye roll emoji or “……”, I mute the conversation. I put my phone away and get back to work. Minutes later my mind starts racing and I begin to question whether they replied to me. I begin to feel bad ignoring them, so instead, I reply and kindly ask them to stop sending one-word texts. Sometimes the conversation will stop dead in its tracks and I won’t hear from them again. If I’m lucky they take my constructive criticism, but usually I get a response along the lines of “OK” or ‘how are you?”

I have completely lost faith in this person. I delete the conversation, and hit “unfriend.”

 

Weeding Out Toxic Friends

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Toxic friends have no place in our lives. These friends are like weeds that suck the life and happy feelings out of us. As a naive little girl,  my mission was to make friends who would like me for who I am. Being the introverted and far from perfect girl that I was, I didn’t feel like I fit the typical teenager stereotype. Instead, I would find myself blending in with other people who were also unpopular, introverted and wanted nothing to do with high school drama. I invested several years into one very strong friendship in particular. Over the years, our lives became less and less parallel, as I slowly started succeeding in different areas of my life. Sure, I lost a handful of friends over the years but toxic friends have no place in my life either. Regardless of how long you have known someone, if they leave a bad taste in your mouth, then you need to let them go. There was a girl who I trusted her more than anyone, and on the surface it appeared that we had a good friendship. We did a lot of stupid things I admit, and at one point we were shit disturbers (I will not list the awful things we did). However, at the time it was more fun and games because we were just young dumb teenagers at the time. What really bothered me was how she would vanish when she was confronted with an awkward situation and she would seldom apologize. Later, the hangouts and conversations would proceed as if nothing had happened. She also started bailing on meetings over the years and I was even warned about this by ex friend #2. They are bonded together like glue and brainwashed by each other’s lies and stupidity. I am not here to beat around the bush. I had confronted them both after a huge drama dispute and honestly, our friendships should have ended for good the first time. I should have blocked them and moved on with my life. Since they proceeded to drop their shit bomb on me again, I proceeded with a follow-up break-up letter to ex friend #1 who was responsible for most of the damage caused.

There is nothing wrong with writing break up letters, whether it is to a friend or an ex boyfriend/girlfriend. But PLEASE don’t do it over a Facebook post or text message. That is simply not cool. I thought it would be informative to share with you my break up letter to ex friend #1. My break up letter to ex friend #2 is currently in the works but there is really no point reasoning with her. By the way, I mail my letters and ex friend #1 coincidentally has an upcoming birthday around the same time that my letter will reach her doorstep. Was this intentionally planned? Maybe. For future reference, let’s call ex friend #1 Jenna. I won’t disclose her real name on the internet, regardless of how much pain she has caused me. Let’s call ex friend #2 Emma. This letter is the exact letter I sent Jenna* in the mail. If you’re going to go all in, you gotta do it right. ♥♥♥

Dear Jenna*, 

This is the last thing that you will be receiving from me. The only reason why I am sending you this letter is to formally give closure about terminating our friendship. I think it is very clear (it should be clear) as to why I am upset with you. You have succeeded at emotionally and mentally draining me. This friendship became toxic and I am more miserable now compared to when we first met. That being said, I am very hurt and will be hurting for a very long time. Breaking up with a friend is like breaking up with a lover. The pain hurts in the same way. You won’t have to know what I am up to anymore or feel badly about yourself when you feel the need to compare yourself to me. You won’t know my struggles or my achievements. I pray now, I meditate, I draw; I spend time with the people who matter. I hope that one day you will wake up and realize that you fucked up a good friendship. Only you are capable of changing your ways.

Most importantly, I am truly saddened that our friendship ended the way it did but I don’t want to return to the way things were. I have no desire to rekindle a broken friendship anymore. Once I have lost trust in someone, it is incredibly difficult repair the damage. You have succeeded in breaking my trust and I should have seen the signs. However, I was in total denial because I felt really close to you, so much that I entrusted you with my deepest secrets. I refused to let these conflicting signs interfere with my beliefs. We shared good memories together, laughter, tears, joy etc. Last year, our friendship really started deteriorating soon after I started accomplishing some goals of mine. I was entering a new phase in my life and it was scary. It would have been nice having support but you were never around when I needed a shoulder to cry on or a sister to celebrate these victories with. You would *vanish* just like you did when Eve* flung her shit at me through a cowardly text message (examples, March 1, 2017; summer 2016).

I’ll never know what motivated you to reveal my secrets to Eve and probably others too. Regardless of any kind of justification you may have, it is still wrong to reveal my secrets to Eve et. al. Because a true friend doesn’t violate someone’s trust! I do not enjoy being thrown into the lion’s den, forced to defend myself when Eve acts irrationally and starts attacking me because of something you told her. If she is going to retaliate against me and be rude, then I don’t want to be friends with her either. I know you are going to show her this letter because you can’t seem to keep anything to yourself. Go ahead. I DARE YOU. She believes you are her best friend which we both know is a total lie. She believes that you love hanging out with her which is also a lie. But keep brainwashing her because why change something that works for you, despite the pain that it inflicts upon the rest of us? What I believed to be true also turned out to be a lie. Maybe you will miss me when you can’t vent to me about how much she annoys you, or how you always have to drive her places, or the next time you two have a big falling out and I have to break it up. More times than not, you and Eve are bickering about something. High school is over.

I am going to miss the late night hangouts with you. You were such a good listener and someone who I really trusted. I think you really opened up to me about your struggles too, but unlike you I didn’t blab your secrets to my friends. Unless I am cornered and have to defend myself, I don’t get a thrill from badmouthing people for personal gain. The Jenna who showed her true colors is not the Jenna that I used to know. I miss the old Jenna, the one I envisioned to be the aunt of my daughter and the Sephora expert who knows more about makeup than the employees working there. I know I deserve better than this. I am tired of being stomped on like a doormat and I feel sorry for the people around you who you’ll continue hurting. Fortunately, I am one less person who you’ll feel the need to hurt. You don’t have to worry about being MIA in my life anymore, or being a shit enjoyer at my consequence. The pressure is off. Feels liberating doesn’t it? –Hilary ♥ 

“Be who you are and say what you feel,

Because those who mind don’t matter,

And those who matter don’t mind.”

–Dr. Seuss