Hello everyone. I wanted to inform you that I am still alive. I have been quite antisocial for the past two weeks as I have been dealing with the aftermath of COVID. Although I have been managing chronic bronchitis for some time, I have recently been experiencing symptoms similar to tracheitis. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of searching my symptoms online last night, and according to Google, it suggested that I might have mouth cancer. Currently, I am experiencing an extremely painful throat that is so raw that swallowing properly has become difficult for me.I have been experiencing a painful mouth, which has been a recurring issue since my jaw surgery. Additionally, my cough has been persistent and has significantly intensified this week. Furthermore, I am once again feeling fatigued.
Instead of trying to explain myself to everyone who contacts me, I have been ignoring text messages, emails, and comments. I also haven’t been leaving comments on other blogs, as I had promised.It’s not that I have antisocial personality disorder; I just feel terrible. Depression has resurfaced, and my mind is overrun with negative thoughts. Simply navigating through each day feels like an overwhelming task. I want to sleep all day, but I cannot due to the coughing. So, I just lie in bed like a lazy potato.
ℑ𝔰 𝔇𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔟𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔶𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔱𝔬 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔬𝔯 𝔰𝔞𝔡?
Going Through the Motions of Life
Life seems to be passing me by as I find myself thinking about my death, as morbid as that sounds. I reflect on the winter season, where plants wither away and animals seek shelter, knowing that there is little to be found outside in the cold. Plants and animals are aware of the gloomy and cold days when the sun occasionally shines. Some days can be dark and dreary, with cold and icy conditions outside. Personally, I dread stepping out into the freezing cold.
This month, I had planned to mail Christmas cards and had even bought a bunch to send out. I had good intentions. However, the Christmas cards are still sitting on my shelf. Additionally, I had plans to bake and wanted to try some of my late grandmother’s recipes. But instead, I have no desire or motivation to do anything worthwhile. Yet, I am still going to share my goals for the month of December to finish off the year. Amazingly, I managed to keep this up for 1 whole year which shows me that I do follow through with what I say I will do when I put my mind to it. Like I said last month, without these monthly goal blog posts, I doubt I would be able to accomplish as much.
DECEMBER GOALS 2023
Career Goals:
- Plot availability for January 2024
- Catch up on work emails
- Send BLS certificate and mask fitting records to manager
- Complete 100 total designs for #Redbubble
Personal Goals:
- Publish 1-2 blog posts + monthly recap
- Frame seminar completion certificates (bonus)
- Complete Application B Questions
- Get an eye exam
- Get a massage
- Daily Duolingo practice 🇩🇪 → keep the streak going
Health Goals:
- YMCA 2x per week minimum
- Buy a new bathing suit for the pool
- Clear out the cupboards → Finish 3+ food items
- Make honey lemon lozenges
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥
I am still going to YMCA two times per week (most weeks) which helps a lot with my mood. I think my mood would be worse if it wasn’t for swimming. I also feel overwhelmed with all of the stuff that I have been accumulating and am hoping to start clearing out the cupboards before the new year. I don’t know what we have half the time and I get frustrated not being able to quickly find the things I need. If I don’t end up baking anything for Christmas, I still want to make some honey lemon candy to soothe my sore throat. In my opinion, homemade candy is better than store-bought candy.
Finally, my goal is to have a total of 100 designs on Redbubble by the end of the year. I believe this is a highly achievable target, considering that I already have 88 designs. I remain hopeful that I will be able to grow my small shop and continue adding designs that people want. In case you were curious, here are my top 3 most popular designs based on the number of sales:
(っ◔◡◔)っ FYI: If you’re not already following me on Twitter (@serene_hilz), you can get real-time updates [and rants] about my day-to-day life there. Tweets have been slow lately since I haven’t been as active as usual. Once I feel better, I will start posting more frequently.
Thanks for stopping by! ♥
Go see a doctor, please.
I go to walk-in clinics and I haven’t been able to find a reliable one here.
😞😞😞
You have been very poorly. Whilst with lots of rest and fluids, many of us will recover from these kinds of symptoms after a week or two – if your symptoms have lasted longer then you probably do need something more than your own immune system. A Doctor may feel you ought to have some anti-biotics if you have a bacterial infection, or arrange for some diagnostics if they think something else is behind the symptoms. I think you mentioned covid – of course anti-biotics are not for a viral infection. While internet searches of symptoms can sometimes be helpful, they can also stir alarm. But it is wise to go and speak to a medical professional – Pharmacists, Doctors, Nurses – wherever you can access them. It would be wise for someone to listen to your chest with a stethoscope. Do you live in the US? I am not sure how easy it is to access healthcare? I have worked for the NHS for many years and in addition to local GP Surgeries and Emergency facilities, we have the NHS111 phone line which can triage and speed things up for patients.
Don’t be in pain. No Doctor would encourage you to be in pain just for the sake of it. Take pain killers to help with the sore throat – if you don’t have any digestive issues than anti-inflammatory over the counter painkillers like ibuprofen or fluribrofen. Honey and lemon are a natural wonder the NHS highly endorse (not so much for people with diabetes of course) – so keep them in good supply. Again if you don’t have diabetes, over-the-counter products like cough syrups and lozenges – although they don’t cure any illness, are designed to reduce discomfort. Demulcents keep a throat more lubricated. Plenty of fluid. If there is something your body wants to get rid of – coughing is the way to expel it – coughing is good. But sometimes a productive cough changes to a dry hacking cough which can become very painful – the more you cough the worse it gets. In the UK, Pholcodeine (a cough supressant) is currently not available to buy over the counter, but there are alternatives such as detromethorphan. If you are in the US, I am not sure which products have a licence for over-the-counter purchases, and you should always check with a Pharmacy team if a product is safe for you.
I know it can be very difficult when we need to work etc – but rest as much as possible. If you can go to bed as soon as you are home from work. If your body wants more than 7 or 8 hours sleep, let it have it. Even if you are not hungry, make sure you eat well – protein is something your immune system will be craving, (some people find it helps to avoid dairy products when their body is producing a lot of mucus – never sure of the connection) and eat gut friendly foods to so that your body can keep nourishment inside. An all round multi-vitamin or vitamins that give your immune system a boost are helpful.
Being physically ill can make you feel really rough and depressed. That is understandable. Plus winter is a pretty grey bleak time of year – I always sense my mood lowering in the winter – I love signs that spring and summer are returning because they fill me with joy and excitement. When I have been ill. I know I have sometimes wished I had time to read etc, and then when I have been ill found I was too exhausted to read or do anything else. But a little something to cheer you up – whether that be a little music, photos of nature – or things that lift your heart – keep them close. Little gems that sustain you when you are low. Keep in touch with people who are about your well-being. But hey – if you are ill – don’t feel bad about being anti-social. This is a time the whole concept of self-care really matters. Let your precious body and mind rest as much as they need. When you recover your energy – there will be plenty of time to catch up with everyone and tell them you appreciated their messages.
Look after you Hilary. There is only one you.
Sorry you’re feeling so terrible. I hope you find a decent doctor soon so you don’t have a Google diagnosis ruin your new year! I don’t know you very well so I can’t say for certain, but whenever I convince myself I have cancer (which is quite often lmao) I eventually realize it’d probably feel way worse if I really did. You said you’re dealing with the aftermath of COVID still and that sounds like a more reasonable explanation.
#butI’mNotaDoctor
I’m terrible because I never did go to a walk in clinic but fully recovered from Covid. My bronchitis eventually went away but it’s chronic; it comes and goes so I know it will be back with a vengeance. What felt like a mouth ulcer/the worst canker sore ever also went away….Google is a bit of a hypochondriac 😂 Swallowing still hurts most of the time but that is not new. I’m drinking a lot of water now which seems to be helping. I try not to take medications and I’m not currently taking anything.
#Imjustanurse #notadoctoreither
im so sorry you’re going thru this. – always around winter time i think of the street animals and it sucks you’re going through this and at this time of year, it just might add to it.
same with me with doing goals lists or posts, if i don’t do it nothing happens for months other than just doing the same routine daily.
it’s great you’re staying active i really hope u get better soon! -kiki
My cat was a rescue cat and it breaks my heart knowing that he was out on the streets for 2 years. It gets very cold here in the winter months ⛄️ He’s an indoor cat now and doesn’t leave the house, but he’s content and happy. 🐈⬛
I totally agree – it’s easy to get caught up with daily routines without setting bigger “scary” goals or accomplishing bigger things. It’s easier to put things off and procrastinate when it comes to doing the things we don’t want to do yet deep down, we know they’re the things that we need to do. I am working on fixing this and started sharing daily To-Do lists (aka. Power Lists) over on Twitter/X. I haven’t decided whether to write about it on the blog since I just started 3 days ago. As for monthly goals, they really do help me stay on track as I’m able to make slight changes at the end of each month. Over the course of the year, I made some progress. It might have been slower than I would have liked, but it was something! I 100% recommend writing down your monthly goals. ✍️
that makes me happy hes an indoor cat i really believe cats shouldn’t be outside you never know what can happen to them :/
ooh i love that! i don’t use twitter no more but i would be all over those if i was still active lol
yes i will get back to it it really helps me to write goals down and i havent been doing it. i will take ur advice <3
Coyotes run wild where we live so I don’t let the cat out. My husbands’s friend lost 2 of her cats after letting them out one night and they didn’t return. She later realized the coyotes probably got them. 😢
I feel like keeping pets indoors is safest. Our cat is microchipped and he has a collar in case he gets out. That’s too bad you don’t use Twitter – it’s not a very popular platform anymore but I still prefer it over other social media platforms. If you’re curious to see what I’ve been posting on Twitter/X (it’s different than this blog) you can find me @serene_hilz. I don’t think you need an account to search it but I could be wrong.
that’s what i was thinking, i hear so many stories about coyotes getting peoples cats. breaks my heart!
yeah i do miss it lol idk i just ended up barely using it after i stopped using it for kpop reasons. ill see if i can find it!
I’m sorry you’re still feeling so unwell! I hope your recovery process speeds up and you’re able to feel better soon.
Thank you! My family has recovered and we are fine now. I have fully recovered from Covid including the bronchitis I had from the month prior. My cough has subsided (finally!)